Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert asks a young soldier if he can have his pork chop.
What will happen in our big political soap opera? Will Mark Foley claim that aliens (from outer space — not from Mexico) made him send lewd messages to congressional pages? Will the entire Republican delegation from Florida reveal that they too are gay alcoholics? How many fat grams will Denny Hastert consume during the Foley scandal crisis? Stay tuned.
When I last talked to my friend Sarah a couple of weeks ago, she asked me if I had learned any tricks from Jake and Gabby. Jake and Gabby are the parrots that live where I am currently residing. I told Sarah that I had learned to eat peanuts with my feet, which is something Jake (pictured here) long ago mastered.
Actually, I was just funning. I suppose you could call it lying if you wanted to, although I seriously doubt my friend really believed I had learned to eat peanuts with my feet. I mean, I could probably do it if I had to. But I don’t have to use my feet for eating so I can’t see any worthwhile reason to learn.
A vast array of skills exist that I could acquire if only I had to, or desired to learn them. For instance, I don’t play the tuba but I could figure it out if I really wanted to do it. The same goes for the piano and guitar. In fact, I never learned to play any musical instrument with the exception of air guitar and a little bit of harmonica. One must admit that both are worthwhile skills to have if ever you find yourself sitting around a campfire on a cattle drive with a bunch of headbangers.
Whether I ever will learn to eat peanuts with my feet, play a tuba or piano or guitar, I can’t say. What I can say is never say never. Well, I mean that figuratively. You may say never all you want at any time you want. For that matter, you can eat peanuts with your feet. It won’t bother me. I see it being done all the time.
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld decides to take charge of the Indian Army.
Donald Rumsfeld was the Secretary of Defense when I served in the Navy during the late 1970s. I can’t remember much of anything about him. Neither can I remember the older, “lifers,” as we called those career military people, cussing or discussing Rumsfeld. All I knew was he was somewhere up there in our chain of command.
That is not to say Rumsfeld didn’t do anything as Defense secretary back then. I just don’t have any Rumsfeld-specific memories. This is mainly because I was 21 years old or so during his tenure and I was more interested in having a good time than I was in national defense policy.
It is too bad Rummy didn’t quit while he was ahead because he has turned the U.S. military into a “clusterf**k,” to quote Gunny Sgt. Highway, the Clint Eastwood character in the 1986 film “Heartbreak Ridge.”
We will never know what Rumsfeld would or would not have done to the armed forces had not the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks taken place. Perhaps a reason would have been found anyway to invade Iraq. But Rumsfeld playing general in the so-called “War on Terror” has been about as disastrous as his trying to turn the military into a robotic, privatized force.
The military is at a breaking point. Yet Prez Gee Dubya, Rummy and pals remain in a “State of Denial,” a fact that we really don’t have to read the new Bob Woodward book of the same title to know.
Donald Rumsfeld needs to go. He’s should have never come back for a second tour of duty as Defense secretary. Bush probably won’t tell him to go, so Rumsfeld should do it on his own. Pack up. Leave the Pentagon. Go fishing. And stay the hell away from our military.
I’ve been watching a little of the press conference held by Pennsylvania state troopers regarding the shooting at a small Amish school. Meanwhile, out West in Las Vegas, some schools are locked down while cops look for a teen with a gun. One has to ask, what is the deal with all these school shootings lately?
This type of thing seems to happen over and over again. It also takes place with different types of people who do the shooting and with varying motives. From where does all this sociopathic behavior come? Is our society really that screwed up? I guess to kids today, such incidents are a way of life even though they are thankfully uncommon. But I just don’t get it.
Even though I don’t get it and probably many factors are to blame, I’m sure people will find plenty of scapegoats to blame. Republicans will blame Democrats. Democrats will blame Republicans. Anti-gun people will blame pro-gun people. Bush will blame Al-Quida and will want to suspend habeas corpus. God only knows what kind of weird crap the good Rev. Pat Robertson will come up with.
What a wonderful world.
