Eight Feet Deep

In Texas you just can’t have too many guns or missiles.

One day, or so I figure, it is going to be cool enough for me to go hiking up the road in the Big Thicket National Preserve. However, my hiking options in the Thicket may be somewhat more limited than earlier this year when a friend and I hiked there.

I talked to someone with the National Park Service at the preserve’s visitor center this afternoon who told me that only three trails are open right now because of damage from Hurricane Rita. This park employee told me that an astonishing 2 million trees were knocked down or blown over in the 97,000-acre preserve during the storm. I wonder if she, the park service person, could hear my jaw dropping when she told me that?

But if I don’t hike in the Big Thicket — where three of the nation’s ecosystems converge — I will be hiking elsewhere with the cooler weather. And I will want a drink of water. So I went looking today for a new canteen.

I tried Gander Mountain. They did have some fancy ones (to me at least) but I decided I just want something to keep my water cold rather than fancy. So I visited the GI Surplus store. I hit paydirt there, buying a Swedish Army canteen for less than 6 bucks. Why a Swedish Army canteen? Well, it was a metal canteen. And it was less than 6 bucks.

GI Surplus stores have always fascinated me. You would think I would have long ago been over them after four years in the Navy. But I still like GI Surplus. There is just so much, how can I say this, crap to be found in such stores. Since some of the merchandise is actually GI or military surplus, it is sometimes good crap as opposed to bad crap. But just as with real military issue, you never know what you’ll get.

I very much like the local GI Surplus store on Hwy. 90 in Beaumont because it also has weird surplus crap outside of the store. As you can see in the top photo they are ready for an air attack with a gun and missiles to protect them. And in the very unlikely event that the terrorist bastards try to attack the GI Surplus store by boat — from the highway — then they will run into the big old mine above. No doubt I will sleep soundly tonight knowing I have a good Swedish canteen and that the GI Surplus store is safe from its enemies.

“And she said, ‘How are you Harry?’ I said, ‘How are you Sue?'”
Where is Harry Chapin when you need him? Dead I suppose. And who is Sue and why is she asking about Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid? Weird. Really “wacky,” as George Bush the 41st might say.

Reid got the Republicans’ nose out of joint this afternoon when he invoked a closed session of the Senate. He apparently wanted to change the news agenda from “Plamegate” to “Alito” back to “Plamegate.” I think it was a pretty clever trick. But most of all, I think it genuinely pissed off Senate Majority Leader Sen. Dr. Bill “Count Your Stock Options” Frist.

The Senate is supposed to be genteel. The House is where all the hooligans are supposed to reside and where members flail each other with canes. So I’m glad to see Harry shaking things up in the Senate. I would like to see a real brouhaha erupt there. Maybe Kay Bailey Hutchison and H.R. Clinton would bitch slap each other. I’d also like to see Chuck Hagel beat the living shit out of Rick Santorum. Or maybe Patty Murray beat the living shit out of Rick Santorum. Hell, anyone beating the shit out of Rick Santorum would clearly make my day. Get out all that angst. Let your real feelings fly. Our Senate probably would be more constructive if its members acted like people.

Still, I doubt Harry Reid will ever drive a taxi. Thus, he will likely be getting few tips nor will he be getting stoned.

Coke. Make it real.

Richard Coke was Texas governor when the present state constitution was adopted in 1876. Back then, the entire document could be stashed inside Gov. Coke’s quite adorable beard. It — the Texas Constitution and not Coke’s beard — has been amended more than 400 times since its adoption.

One week from today Texans have the opportunity to amend the constitution nine additional times. Proposition 2 is getting all the attention because it would define marriage as “solely the union of a man and woman” and would ban gay marriage (or I suppose marriage between man and ewe — say “Baaaaa do.”) The remaining eight proposed amendments would do things such as making Halliburton the official state contractor. Not really! Not yet at least.

The present constitution was made in such a wacky manner because people distrusted government after Reconstruction. Things haven’t changed so much since then except there is a whole lot more government to distrust and the officials who run our government are probably even less trustworthy. But amending the constitution is really getting out of hand. Why the document has been jostled and erased and portions of it cut out and pasted in that it looks like one of those strange ransom notes cut from letters inside various magazine pages.

Now I know a lot of people fret that if they don’t pass Prop 2 and ban gay marriage, Texas will lose its exalted status as most reactionary state. But I still think voters should just not show up for the constitutional amendment election at all. Don’t vote. And when the next set of amendments come around in a couple of years, don’t vote on them either. Then perhaps we will send a message to our legislators that it is time to stop amending the state constitution and perhaps have a document which would make us proud. Crazy dreamer that I am.

This is not a paid political ad but I approve this message nonetheless.

It doesn’t take a weekend out of town like I had this past weekend in Austin to realize that, as much as I like where I live, the radio in this area really blows. And that’s really saying something because I’m within earshot of the nation’s fourth largest city, Houston. Man, you’d think Houston would have a decent radio station. But really, in my estimation, it doesn’t.

Austin does have one really great radio station, KGSR-FM. And you can hear it on the Internet by magically clicking here! Check out their recent airplay: Tracy Chapman, Coldplay, Ry Cooder, Eliza Gilkyson, Rodney Crowell, Delbert McClinton, John Hiatt … And that’s not to mention my hearing old things from Traffic and Little Feat this past weekend. Jesus Tap Dancing Christ that is some good music.

I also have a Louisiana Internet favorite, KBON-FM in Eunice, La. You can savor this experience by clicking RIGHT CHERE! This station has perhaps the best mix of soul, Cajun, Swamp pop, maybe even a surprise thrown in there, that you can find.

I’m glad these choices exist on the Internet because, quite frankly, broadcast radio has gone to hell in a handbasket. At least that’s the case where I live.

“Just wait,” daydreams Alito, “It won’t be long before Bush becomes MY bitch.”

Do you remember recently when I told you the next pick GW made for Supreme Court justice was sure not to please everyone? You don’t remember? Well, I did make such a prediction and that forecast was realized this Monday morning with the rancor of a rehashed passed interference call from some crappy, NFL game the day before.

Appeals court judge Samuel Alito, affectionately called ‘Scalito’ or ‘Scalia-lite’ with reference to ultra conservative Justice Antonin Scalia, seems destined to make the right-wingers dance in the streets with glee while the Dems break out their voodoo dolls and summon the spirit of M.M. O’Hair. The confirmation fight is going to get nasty, I predict, as it should.

I mean, the world just seemed to be tilting the wrong direction on its axis with Harriet Miers. The Democrats were content to not bitch about her nomination while the Bible-beating conservatives ate their young. A course correction was made by GW’s bunch by over-correcting. Yet again our governmental geniuses keep forgetting the past.

Both Democratic and Republican partisans apparently either flunk history or ignore it completely as a legitimate subject. The right may get their man and he may go on to help “win” some of the battles in what is ridiculously termed the “culture wars.” But the minority of fundamentalists are not going to be in charge forever and neither is the Republican Party. And possibly, neither will the Democratic Party when the people get tired of the Republicans. The pendulum eventually swings. It’s inevitable, like death and the little guy getting screwed.

So the stage is set for another political drama. Let it happen! Bring it on! Let that boy boogie woogie!