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2015 and I still don’t like how some people park their cars

On New Year’s Eve I spent the night visiting two great friends I had not seen in quite some time. Although I was driving the same Tacoma pickup I drove when I last saw them, when I allowed their two young boys to play in the back of my truck, the boys are now college age and attending The Citadel in Charleston, S.C.

SubstandardFullSizeRender-1My friends, their kids, their kids’ friends, some neighbors, and I all enjoyed celebrating in the far northwest suburbs of Houston. The neighborhood association there had erected signs saying the use of fireworks were prohibited but the party who were attending this party chose to ignore the signs, as so it seemed, did most of that area of northwest Houston. I have been in cities where gunfire was just as prevalent for celebrating as fireworks and still did not hear the booming and banging that was heard ushering in 2015.

So there it was on the first early morning of 2015 that I found myself with several of the many things I like in life: good friends, amiable people, adult beverages and fireworks. I suppose I could throw in my Tacoma since I’ve had it since 1997 but it is in part still remaining because I can’t afford a new auto.

It didn’t take me very long in this new year to find some of those parts of life of which I dislike. On this the second day of the new year I took a picture of one of those disliked portions of my world: Call it what you want. You could call it a photo of someone who had parked their car askew, thus presenting an opportunity in which another motorist might have found themselves without a parking space under certain circumstances.

The male of the couple of friends I visited once proclaimed that he liked backing his SUV into a spot because “it looked cool.” He was only semi-joshing. And I have nothing against backing a vehicle into a parking spot. However, I once backed massive fire trucks into a bay that had little space to spare and I guess that I never got over that.

I don’t mind someone backing their automobile into a parking spot. That is considering that they back that vehicle in for one vehicle. I don’t care if someone parks their car straight into a spot or if they park with the car or truck resting on its rooftop. Just, by God, park it for one car or truck!

I wish all my friends and others deserving of my good feeling a happy 2015. As for those miscreant sons of bitches who park askew I only wish for them an infestation by fleas from a thousand camel’s asses. No specific reason for the infestation originating from a camel or it’s arse. Fleas from a jackass’ ears might do just as well. Just don’t take up two parking spaces for your one automobile and we should have a happy start, at least, to 2015.

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Twice with “The Interview” and still no funnier

And in the end, after all the hubbub and a threats and serious talk of cyber-terrorism —  not to mention dipshit’s such as CNN’s Jake Tapper who postulated the United States lost the first cyber war — there was a movie. That movie had little going for it albeit some R-rated humor that made for some big laughs with an ending that might (no promises) have sufficed had I not already known the ending. Oh well, the movie was billed as comedy. The world went topsy-turvey for awhile aided by an electronic news media that seemed to evoke for some the second coming of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Along that backdrop did I watch “The Interview” twice. I watched on my laptop after its simultaneous release online and in “fearless” movie theaters across the US of A.

I couldn’t really complain about the price. The movie had several online outlets. The one I used, seetheinterview.com, streamed the movie at the low, low, price of $5.99  and could be watched for 48 hours. Thus, I came back and watched it again a short time ago. Not much really changed during the second viewing.

Only if someone occasionally finds low brow humor really funny can enough parts of the film remain salvageable. (Rob Lowe ‘removes’ his hair, exposing several strands extending from front to back. This leads a control room lady to exclaim: “It looks like someone’s taint!” The James Franco character finds a double entendre which only he sees the hilarity until discovered by the North Korean leader. “They hate us ’cause they ain’t us” This comes out of course as “They hate us ’cause they anus.”)

One also wonders whether the movie’s production folks were channeling Ed Wood, what with several noticeable inconsistencies — Franco and Seth Rogan whispering because of possible bugs in the Kim palace guest rooms then inexplicably talking out loud. As LA Times critic Betsy Sharkey writes: “This is, to put it bluntly, not a good film.”

As discussing with my friend across the Pacific, Paul, yesterday, it almost seemed as if watching this film somehow became an act of patriotism. Other friends sees the run up to the movie with the warnings of 9/11 style attacks as well as the puzzling water cooler gossip — the Sony email which calls Angelina Jolie “a minimally talented spoiled brat” — some kind of bizarre way to pack theaters.

The supposed hacking of Sony is one of those events which comes along leaving more head scratching than answers. To paraphrase an earlier phrase about Angelina Jolie, “The Interview” was a minimally funny comedy.

But it certainly got talked about.

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More cost for hotel guests?

The Holiday season is supposed to be one of giving although we should be aware of those out there who are more interested in taking or keeping things for themselves. No, I’m not talking about street corner thugs or those who try every way possible to separate us from our dollars such as through fraudulent means.

Instead, I mean corporate clowns. Those corporations that depend on their customers for their well-being often seek every damned last penny they can from their customers. For example, let’s take the hospitality business.

Now when you think of crooked hotels and motels one might imagine the so-called “flea bag motel.” In reality, though, the less-expensive motels may be perfectly on the up-and-up relatively speaking, while it is your more expensive places that are the real money grubbers.

For instance, the huge Marriott Worldwide has asked the FCC to allow hotel owners to block Wi-fi hotspots inside their building, this according to Infoworld.com. The federal agency hit the company with a $600,000 fine for doing just what Marriott is now asking permission to do.

The fine came after guests and exhibitors were charged up to $1,000 per device to access Marriottt’s Wi-fi or face signal blocking at the company’s Gaylor Opryland Hotel and Convention Center in Nashville.

Companies such as Microsoft and Google urged the FCC to reject Marriott’s petition to the FCC which would allow signal blocking of Wi-Fi hotspots other than those belonging to hotels.

Having stayed in a number of hotels and motels for extended periods of time that hotels such as Marriott present much in the way of creature comfort. But Marriott and many other chains try their best at bleeding “blood from turnips.” Even separate hotels within within the Marriott sphere offer different amenities and at drastically different rates.

Just checking rates in nearby Houston, Marriott Hotel’s show those ranging from the high $70s per night to upward of $200 per night. There are differences as well in what one might experience in breakfasts or happy hours.

What guests do see pretty uniformly in Marriotts and other hotels are extras that have outrageous costs. I hesitate to lump all hotels together, I shouldn’t, but what the hell. My most recent hotel stay was with a Hilton affiliate. At least its breakfast was free and made to order. Happy hour also featured free booze for a couple of hours and not just beer and wine, but various house liquor as well.But the restaurant had a limited menu and was more than I wanted to pay. If one was in need of a little nighttime snack while watching the Cowboys get beat by Washington, they should have bought it somewhere else. If you wanted a bag of chips there you would pay $5 a package.

Oh and back to Wi-fi. Paying for internet service at the Marriott hotels in Houston run from $7 to $17.

One more point about internet service at hotels. My service through Verizon — I never thought I’d say this — is better and more reliable than what one may find through the hotel itself.

So I give you this early warning. Hopefully, the FCC will stay on the side of the consumer and reject the Marriott petition. Nickle and diming is certainly not what it once was. Good luck to all you travelers come the new year. Ho Ho Ho, Merrrry Christmas.

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Who need the perp? Not me.

Perp walks. I just saw one on local TV. The “perp” looked as if his head was going to snap as he walked with his head away from the cameras. This young suspect of a home invasion robbery in nearby Port Arthur, Texas, was able to pull his sweater over his head. The few local reporters there all asked the man if he pulled off the crime. Apparently, the man didn’t answer, on camera at least. He probably said that he didn’t do it. Do what, Man? It is likely he’s done a crime or two before.

The perp walk typically happens when the cops call or email the press about an upcoming prisoner transfer to jail or arraignment. Usually, the reporters don’t just come up on a perp walk on their own.

I went to a few perp walks in my career in the news business. I found those occasions only slightly more useful to a news story than the “man on the street” interviews, what we called the “geek on the street.”

Maybe other countries are above such showmanship. Say nations like North Korea. Yes, it seems totalitarian nations would love a similar exhibition. But maybe not, if on the other shoe. The other stinky shoe of Kim Jong-Un.

I wouldn’t like to be on the other shoe. Pew.

Perhaps an all-star cast, starring Kim, maybe even Dick Cheney. And too bad Hitler’s dead. We can’t do Adolf. And I doubt we would get even get the live ones, like Cheney.

So TV news stars to be, here is a thought. Unless your manager, makes you go to a perp walk, I suggest you do something else. Maybe there will be a birthday celebration for someone who is turning 105 years in age. Or maybe the local firefighters are rescuing a cat from a well, perhaps even there is a real story out there. Even a blind pig finds an acorn every now and then.

 

 

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Two-smack, two-smack, too actors in one!

A post that I had begun writing a half-hour ago went totally to hell in a hand basket. In the midst of pulling up a few things I might put together came a wacky Hollywood urban legend that had me wondering if perhaps the myth had somehow infiltrated my brain.

The original post was a little thought about aging, how some people needed cosmetic help because of their work, and how others received such help due to true vanity. But screw it, that topic will have to wait for another day.

I saw a movie on Encore the other day but the stars that were to be the stars of my blog actually came from two movies on Encore. One movie was “The Last Boy Scout,” a 1991comedy thriller starring Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans. The other was “Blue Steel,” a 1989 action-drama which starred Jamie Lee Curtis and Ron Silver.

Both Willis and Curtis were in their 30s in the two movies. Willis actually looked younger than the character he played in the 1980s TV series that launched his career, “Moonlighting,” co-starring Cybill Shepherd. Both movies were already underway when I started watching them. Honestly, I didn’t even recognize Curtis. I thought to myself: “She kind of looks like Jamie Lee Curtis.”

Jamie Lee, I will call her that because that is how I will always know her, is one of those people whom I find beautiful even though others may not. And she looked awesome in the movie. As the film went on, I figured out that, yes, this was Jamie Lee. This was a younger, thinner, Jamie Lee. That is not to say that even though the aging, not-so-thin Jamie is still “fine as frog hair,” as they like to say here in the swamps of Texas and Louisiana.

Willis is an attractive man. I say that because some people have said at various times that I resembled him. We both had receding hairlines and now shave our heads about once a week. But I am not Willis, nor am I a Jamie Lee.

This urban myth I found or meme, or whatever you want to call it is that Willis and Jamie Lee morphed into the same person. A bunch of different Web sites discussed this. I suppose you might find those sites doing a little searching. But I don’t have time to dig them up for you. Sorry.

Both Willis and Jamie Lee are still very nice-looking people. I suppose the notion they are the same person would result in a an attractive Bruce Lee Curtis or Jamie Lee Willis. But they’re not the same person. So stop feeding this foolishness. You folks are making me crazy, even to mention such a myth.

Chow. No, I mean chow. It’s time to eat.