Texas “pair” is Lifetime’s biggest star

Why would a masseuse drive 220 miles round-trip either driving through or around Houston traffic each day?

Money perhaps. Perhaps hell, yes, money, whether it’s real money or fake money. I am not talking about play money as in Monopoly. Rather, I speak of fake money as in currency of a television series. It is not about just plain oil and rub-a-dub-dub. Not when you go to “The Rub” and ask for Riley.

Riley is the fictional TV character of the Lifetime TV series “Client List.” The show basically revolves around two main characters. But the two stars have no individual names. That is because the collective main characters are the left and right breasts of the show’s star Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Bravo, bravo, bravo! Such acting, such blahhhhhhhh, mmmmmm.

Well, JLove is cute. She fills out a dress, rather, well. Can you say “36-26-38?” Yeah she does.

In fact, the Waco-born pair and the vessel on which they marvelously ride are actually a well-constructed structure that reminds one why ships are referred to as she.

The show is a rather cheesy R-rated affair in which Riley (played by JLove and her mother portrayed by veteran movie and small screen star Cybil Shepard have trouble then solve the problems with JLove’s hooters. Well, It isn’t all that simple but that is kind of what goes.

Getting back to the long commute, outside scenes are shot here in Beaumont (Yee Ha! First the Hewitt Pair and now “Cops.” Okay, no more references to “Bad Boys, Bad Boys”) where Riley supposedly resides and drives all the way to Sugar Land. The latter is a suburb to the southwest of Houston. If you’ve ever been to both cities you might recognize the Sugar Land City Hall and the Beaumont business center (sushi, bar & Baptist Church?,) Tuscany Park on Dowlen Road. By the way, someone keeps putting flyers on my truck and my business car for a strip joint. Uh, I think most of my friends are married by now. Well, a couple are divorced, but ..

The show is doing pretty well. It’s leading Lifetime which is not quite everyone’s cup o’ tea but if you can have a “reality show” built around a bunch of fun-loving ya-hoos who make duck calls   then why not a show about some real boobs.