If you happen to be a believer in evolution then you might understand how certain human body structures got the short end of the stick as life made its way up the evolutionary chain. Backs and feet immediately come to mind.
It isn’t hard to imagine how weight could be better distributed by walking on all fours. That is not to say I intend to start doing it. I would last probably three seconds before plunking on the floor. If I were successful at doing it I’m sure there would probably be some long ago city ordinance prohibiting the act which was never repealed and thus the boys and gals in blue would come get me.
So we walk on all twos, if that’s the hand we are dealt.
Walking upright certainly complicates matters such as stress and strain on the spinal column. The spinal column is pretty doggone important to the body machine. So if there is a problem with steering then we can have other problems, say with locomotion (the reference being “moving,” not the song written by Carole King and Gerry Goffin which was first recorded by Little Eva and later Grand Funk Railroad), or even with breathing.
Then, there is the feet. Ach ja. Die Füße. You have these two relatively minor platforms on which sits a big ol’ tub o’ lard, or even a Twiggy. I do not know the ratio of pounds per square inch of pressure exerted on the feet. I would perhaps look knowledgeable if I were to look that up and report it here. But one can only do so much with two feet. Also, wouldn’t you think a blog named “eight feet deep” would discuss feet more often than it does? Think about it and write down your answers. But please don’t give them to me.
There is, or was, a point to be made here. It has to do with my feet. Something is wrong with my feet, other than the way the look and the fact that they are just under one foot in length. Yes I have almost foot-long feet. Someone asks my what’s under my shoe, I tell them a foot or almost a foot.
Recently I did something twice that I had never done before. That was to take back two pairs of shoes, first for exchange and secondly for a refund.
I decided it was time for a pair of new hiking shoes. So I bought a pair after trying them on, making sure they fit well and taking the obligatory walk around the shoe section. Upon returning home and taking a walk, my feet felt like they were hit with John Henry’s hammer. My left big toenail is still purple. I thought, this isn’t right. So I return the shoes and exchange them for another pair. I wore them twice and although they still weren’t as painful, they were still relatively Cruel Shoes. I finally returned them and got my money back, deciding to buy a pair elsewhere.
The pair I now have felt as though I was walking on air when I tried them on at the store. That is how a pair of great shoes is supposed to feel. But even as I continue to walk while wearing them, I still have foot pain and today even had some numbness.
I told my doctor about the ordeal last week. I have been buying shoes on my own for more than 35 years and so I know when they fit and when they don’t fit. Or so I thought. But these shoes fit. And they are a nice moderately-priced pair of Timberland hiking shoes, not something I bought at the dollar store. So I figure I have some kind of foot problem. Now I have to wonder, what is the problem?
Well, perhaps the doctor or a podiatrist will have to figure that out. The Web site ePodiatry lists almost 50 different foot problems one might have. It is mystery, I tell you. But we will get to the bottom of this, feet first, or this blog isn’t eight feet deep. And if it’s not, then what am I doing here?