Almost everyday I search craigslist and other sites looking for freelance writing gigs. Also, almost everyday I see ads wanting writers for some “new, exciting” magazine or Web site. And invariably most of these publications say something to the effect of: “We can’t pay you but we will publish your bio which will attract worldwide attention.” Or something like that.
In other words, they are wanting writers to write something for free so they can use it for whatever purposes. You might understand that this annoys me to quite a grand degree. People are out there, like myself, who try to make a living writing. It is extremely difficult to do. I’m not even making a living. Yet, some bozo wants me to write for nothing so I or others can see my name in print. Well here is a little secret Bozo: I’ve seen my name in print.
Can you imagine how a mechanic would respond if you wanted him or her to rebuild your engine and tell them: “I can’t pay you, but you will be on my Web site?” Or if you asked a brain surgeon to perform a delicate procedure on you and you told the doctor: “I cannot give you any compensation, but your kindness will be recognized by a plaque in my Good Guys Hall of Fame?” I don’t even think they would laugh at such utterances. I think they would probably just punch you in the nose.
So I have decided to make up my own craigslist ad to send out to different locales. And my ad will be frankly honest:
“I need money. Please send me whatever you’ve got.”
Or,
“Do you want to make me happy? Well, all you have to do is send me all of your money. That money will bring a smile to my face. And after all, isn’t that what is important?”
Ah yes, I can see a Mercedes-Benz in my future already.