One can only imagine the shock I felt earlier this afternoon when I read the headline intimating that The View’s right-wing co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck was in a snit over the political bickering amongst her fellow ABC-TV co-hosts. Who knew? I mean, her feelings are something I do not dare take for granted because I know that she at least has as much knowledge as GOP veep candidate Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.
Unfortunately for me, once I began reading about this latest celebrity row and what it means to the security of our country … (huh?) … I quickly became confused.
What is so confusing is Elisabeth’s name. No, not that she spells her name “Elisabeth” with an “s.” Elisabeth, or rather, Elizabeth is a very important name to me as my mom was named Elizabeth. I know at least one person who spells her name “Elisabeth.” That is even though her name is Lucy. No, just kidding. But I do have a very good, long-time friend, yes even though she is a Republican, who is named Elizabeth but whose rap sheet lists her as “Suzie.” Only joking about the rap sheet, sweetie. I had another friend named Elizabeth who went by “Liza,” as in Minelli. And on and on it goes. No it’s the “Hasselbeck” which creates the confusion.
I watch pro football on and off. Some years yea, some years nay. Recently, I saw a game with the Seattle Seahawks in which Matt Hasselbeck was quarterbeck, er, quarterback.
Now Matt Hasselbeck has been around for eons. He’s 33 years old, which is ancient in NFL years. Plus, I am sure I heard the name when his dad, Don Hasselbeck, played pro football.
But after looking up Elisabeth and Matt and Don and all the Hasselbecks in the world, I came to discover Elisabeth is married to former pro football player Tim Hasselbeck.
So I have to ask, who the heck is he? That is, other than Elisabeth’s hubby?
And then there is one more kink. Wasn’t that guy in Knight Rider and Baywatch named Hasselbeck?
Oh, I see. It’s Hasselhoff. My bad. Well, I’m certainly glad we got this all figured out. I just hope Elisabeth doesn’t go off to Fox News. She would be so out of place there since they don’t have many blonde right wing personalities or talking heads.
Oh and PS for the 6000th time: I often have to edit this and edit this and edit this some more once it is published so there may be times one reads this and says: “What the … ?” Oh, “times” is an exaggeration I am sure. Don’t worry about it. I don’t.