Verizon’s lightning fast speed delivered in geological years

Verizon Wireless likes to tout its “lightning fast 4G speeds.” I have the third 4G device from that company in less than two weeks. It is a Samsung mobile hotspot. I used the term “MiFi” the other day. I think that is actually Novatel’s version. Both are similar gizmos. The mobile hotspot is a very simple little box that allows one to allegedly connect up to five computers at once and deliver the Internet at, once again, its “lightning fast” speed. Wow. Lightning. That would be pretty damned fast wouldn’t it? All kidding aside, it has allowed me to tame the rowdy piece of crap Lenovo half-tablet, half-notebook, half-ass computer I have to use at work. That is an unintended consequence however.

Sometimes the device does come up with some very fast speeds, both uploading and downloading. It’s best if you stick it in a window though. The hotspot also has a tendency to stall and, it seems at least, it takes a bit of time to reboot the device.

What has been the worst feature about this wireless gadget is that, as fast as Verizon claims to be, they turn out to be very slow and very careless in getting the gizmo to the customer. For instance, I got the device itself on Monday. Since the battery had to be shipped from a different point than the hotspot, the battery didn’t come until Tuesday. I spent a day of annual leave to make sure I was home for the FedEx guy.

Upon opening the package with the battery, I noticed that the charger that was supposed to come with the battery was nowhere to be found. It is pretty crucial because the battery uses up its juice in less than five hours. Fortunately, my phone charger fit the mobile hotspot. Actually, it is more like amazing because as anyone who has bought more than one electronic gadget knows, every device seems to have its own unique battery charger. It’s kind of like each snowflake being different.

My charger came today, but since I was working I will have to pick it up at FedEx tomorrow. And guess what else I discovered? The Verizon geniuses sent me the wrong battery cover. I kind of wondered why the battery seemed to bounce around when I pull it out of my computer bag after a drive home from work. Now I know. The young girl I spoke to at Verizon awhile ago said that Tuesday was the earliest I could receive what is the right battery cover. That means I probably won’t get it until Wednesday.

This would all be good for a big laugh were this not a product of rampant stupidity on the part of Verizon and its employees. Or maybe it is rampant stupidity mixed with gross negligence or they are just being mean to me. I know that the latter sounds paranoid but I really have been riding their asses at Verizon like jockeys at Churchill Downs on Derby Day. Poor little gal, the last I spoke to, I told her rather loudly that “I DON’T CARE IF YOU SEND THE THING AT CHRISTMAS!!!” That is probably what they will do.

Now that I have that out of my system, perhaps I will let someone know what I really think about Verizon.