Vilsack's a-go-go could be a boost for EFD

Tom we hardly
knew ya. In
fact, we didn’t
know you at all.
Who are you?

Someone named Gov. Tom Vilsack from some state named Iowa (Motto: Awoi was the second choice) will apparently drop out of the race for the Democratic nomination for president in 2008. It seems that this Vilsack is not able to raise the millions of dollars needed to make greedy television executives rich from 30-second campaign spots, so Vilsack has decided to quit while he’s behind.

Even though we are living in the comfort of our Toycoma on the streets of Beaumont, Texas, and are so poor that we can’t buy a skunk’s odor, we here at EFD have vowed to stay in the race for president until the end.

Why would we do that? Why would we trudge onward in a campaign that is darker than dark horse? Because we don’t care whether we are elected or not. We (EFD actually, as I am just the typist) feel it is important(or not) that our message of hope (or despair) is heard loudly (or maybe toned down a might) so that it (what?) may be heard worldwide (or by a couple of people or by the frightening but fenced-in German Shepherd at the garage down the street). Whomever.

We still can’t figure out all those federal election rules about funding. Therefore, EFD asks that donations for the campaign be sent by clicking the “donation” button to your right for our homelessness fund rather than our presidential campaign fund. No matter how optimistic one may be, and I may not be very optimistic, **you just can’t successfully run a nationwide campaign for president while living out of your pickup truck. So give to the EFD for Pres … oops. I mean give to the EFD homelessness fund. We promise the funds won’t be spent on alcoholic beverages. Well, maybe a drink or two. You know, a little wine is good for you. Most doctors and 9-out-of-10 winos say so, thus it must be true.

**Victor Morales ran a good campaign out of his little white truck during his race for U.S. Senate against Phil “I’m not a hick but I sound like one” Gramm. However, Morales didn’t have to live in his pickup and was not running for president. I rest my case because it is really tired and needs a nap.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *