Where is our economy?

Our economy was last seen traveling in a clockwise direction.

The Federal Reserve’s so-called “Beige Book” released today told us what we already knew albeit in a more subdued way than I like to describe it.

“Reports from the twelve Federal Reserve Districts suggest that economic activity increased modestly during the survey period of mid-November through December, but at a slower pace compared with the previous survey period.”

Thus proving that even good is bad and evil is evil. The Fed cited the slow holiday sales and “weaknesses” in auto sales among the economic woes throughout most of the country. But the spending on tourism was positive, said Fed. This led the board’s chairman Ben “Let’s Cut ‘er a Point or Two” Bernanke to suggest the nation go to Disney World.

“Hey, whatever works,” said Fed.

Reports from most of the Fed’s districts indicated that certain “nonfinancial service industries including health care, hospitality, legal, and insurance” had seen a “robust” demand. All of which is very encouraging news to people who get sick, need a hotel room or are getting sued.

The Fed went on to say that businesses faced increasing prices for food, petrochemicals, transportation costs, Downy Fabric Softener, booze, cheap floozies, and opium. The report released by the Federal Reserve Board of Governors is called The Beige Book because its real name, Summary of Commentary on Current Economic Conditions, takes way too much effort to say. It is released eight times a year provided the person who types up the report isn’t on vacation at Disney World.

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