Will the one not running for president please stand up?

It seems like everyone and their dog is considering a run for president in 2008. I still look for Dr. Jekyll Dubya and Mr. Rove to throw Deadeye Dick Cheney under the train sometime before his term is up and install a GOP heir-apparent. But otherwise it should be a pretty wide-open field.

The surprise of the day is that Tommy Thompson is exploring a presidential bid. Who is Tommy Thompson? Beats the hell out of me. Actually he was a Wisconsin governor, former Health and Human Services secretary and previously headed the Amtrak Board of Governors. That certainly qualifies him to be president right? That, and a (presumably) warm body.

Perhaps so many candidates will be running in 2008 that someone should introduce a line of trading cards picturng and giving the vitals of those vying for president. Collect all 600 and an all-expense paid ticket to the inaugural festivities will be yours! Yeaaaaa!

I have given some thought to running for president myself. I’m not getting any younger. And the statute of limitations have run out on most of the illegal, immoral or just plain stupid things that I did in my youth. However, I feel the most formidable challenge to getting on the ballot would be my name “eight feet deep.” I think I would rather be placed on the ballot with just my initials “EFD.” But, I remember all the hell Carole Keeton Strayhorn Foghorn Leghorn Annie Lennox Lewis Bean Burrito had when she futilely tried to get “Grandma” on the ballot in her failed run for Texas governor.

Right now, I am just exploring my options. I am not forming an exploratory committee as many potential candidates do. Instead, I am thinking about forming a committee to explore a committee that will, in turn, explore the formation of an exploratory committee. Right now the only members of my committee are Jake and Gabby, my friend’s parrots. The only problem with the parrots are they usually just repeat everything someone says or will whistle instead of deliberating.

The campaign, if there is one, is in its infancy right now. I must warn you to NOT send any money for my possible campaign just yet. However, if you want to just give me money as a kind gesture or just for the hell of it, then click the “Donation” button on the sidebar. It will be appreciated because your writer writes for tips and tips only.

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