A victory for sanity in the Texas Lege: The special session ends

Hide your grandma and your children, at least when going to the airport in Texas. That’s right. It’s going to be “Grope City.”

That is what Republican Texas lawmakers might have you believe as a so-called “pat-down bill” failed to pass in the state House after a called session of the Legislature ended today. Possible GOP presidential candidate Texas Gov. Rick “Good Hair” Perry had considered the bill to criminalize what Tea Party types see as intrusive “groping” of passengers subject to search in the state’s airports as a priority. However, that anti-federal government proposal and a bill to prevent “Sanctuary Cities” for illegal immigrants – both Perry priorities — died in the Texas House.

“Although I am disappointed lawmakers did not finalize legislation that would have banned sanctuary cities, I commend the Legislature’s work to pass measures that further strengthen our legal system through loser pays lawsuit reform, uphold the integrity of the ballot box by requiring voters to present photo ID at polling places, protect unborn life by requiring an ultrasound before an abortion, strengthen private property rights, and increase penalties for individuals who participate in human trafficking,” Goodhair said in a news release. “And although the airport pat-down bill did not pass, it did initiate a public discussion and some changes in airport security procedures.”

The long-winded Perry statement highlighted what he considered accomplishments during this year’s biennial session and subsequent special session. Not touted by Perry is the damage done by his insistence the state’s nearly $6 billion reserve, or “Rainy Day Fund,” remains in tact while Texas teachers see massive job cuts. In fact, Perry bragged on the healthy fund in New York City while sticking his foot in the water for a presidential run.

“New York City??? Get a rope.” (Quoting an old Pace Picante Sauce commercial here. No need report me to the Secret Service or the Perry Texas DPS Guard Detail.)

Despite the efforts of Perry and the goofballs in the Texas Legislature, at least a bill that might have disrupted air travel and could have put in jeopardy the federal government as well as its efforts to keep the flying public safe went down in flames. Too bad. So sad. Childish yes. Do I give a rat’s rectum? No. I am on vacation.