Author: Dick

“I was WHERE last night? Photo by peachyqueen via Morguefile.com

Here I am after another substantial Friday morning breakfast at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church of Beaumont, Texas, for the street and/or needy folks. I have been agnostic for quite sometime and remain so but going to these feeds at religious institutions for those like myself who are down on their luck kind of brightens my day. I see people who seem genuinely happy helping others and it takes a little of the focus off my worries and feeling sorry for myself. That is, for a little while at least.

This week I went for the first time to the regular inner-city ministry held at 6:15 p.m. Wednesdays at the First Baptist Church of Beaumont. It was a great feed for the needy and featured a swarm of people who were there — old and young — to greet you like a long-lost uncle or aunt. There was also some of the old-time “go God beat ol’ Scratch” type preaching which used to annoy me so much when I went to the Baptist church as a child. I sort of finding it entertaining now and, although I’m still agnostic, I believe that if that type of message helps someone or gives them comfort, well so be it, more power to it, let’s dance! Oops. I don’t suppose I should mention dancing and Baptist in the same paragraph. I will provide an off-color Baptist joke from my young years of going to churches of that affiliation:

Q: Do you know why Baptists won’t do the dirty deed while standing up?
A: They’re afraid it will lead to dancing.

I’m sorry if that offends anyone. Not really.

Today or perhaps Monday I should be hearing about a job for which I applied. I also found a part-time job that had a really kick-ass hourly wage range for which I also applied. The only problem was I found the job while in the Texas Workforce Commission about two hours before the offices closed and the job announcement, for a federal job, closed at midnight the next a.m. So, I don’t know if I am sh*t-out-of-luck, s*it-on-a-shingle, or sh*t and Shinola as to my chances for that position.

I hope to be here next week and will accordingly keep those of you who give a sh*t informed.

Yours,
EFD for President in ’08
“A pot in every chicken and a garage in every car”

A NASA engineer attempts to tether his restless leg at zero gravity which will ultimately result in a state of near continuous spin cycle followed by a cool-down before drying and pressing.

Last night I suffered from restless leg syndrome (RLS). It is a condition people didn’t have until those aggravating commercials for the medicine Requip began running on television. That is likely untrue but RLS does happen to a lot of people including me, very infrequently, and some of my friends as well.

The symptoms are varied, or are at least have a wide-ranging description by those who suffer from RLS. Some describe it as tugging, creeping, or like insects crawling. I can’t really define it other to say what I feel is a very odd and unpleasant feeling in my legs during sleep in which your legs feel they are unsatisfied being in their present state. It seems as if the only way to help ease these symptoms are to get up and walk around for awhile. It’s a leg jones for movement, it seems. RLS is not fun anytime but especially not comfortable when you are sleeping inside your pickup trucks, as I do these days.

Variations occur as well as to the number of times one may get RLS. Equip ads say you should ask your doctor about Equip if you have RLS more than 15 times per month. If I had RLS 15 times per month I would probably walk around constantly in a somnambular state like something from “Night of the Living .”

About three or four times I had to get out of the truck and walk around and finally about 4 a.m., I could safely take another Atavan and it knocked me out. Goodbye Mr. RLS, until next time.

As is the case in medicine quite often, — ever hear of “practicing physicians?” — the cause of RLS is not always clear. According to the National Institute of Health fact sheet above, the causes could be anemia, kidney failure, diabetes or Parkinson’s. The latter affliction continues to cause me concern as my hands have been continually shaking for almost a year without any clear diagnosis. I talked with someone at the Houston VA Hospital’s Parkinson’s Clinic today and she was making me an appointment. I certainly hope it isn’t Parkinson’s causing my shaking, dizziness, stumbling and other weird signs and symptoms I have been experiencing lately. I guess I’ll eventually find out one way or the other. Just like I will eventually find a job or die trying.

This afternoon I get to visit my physician at the local VA clinic. Since beginning methadone for pain, I must see the doctor once a month for a prescription since the cannot be refilled and shipped out like other meds. Oh, no fun can be had greater than going to the VA clinic and/or hospital. I’m just being sarcastic. Please excuse me while I go stretch my restless legs.

I’d like to thank my producer and my director and all the “little” people … Amazingly enough I watched a sufficient amount of the Academy Awards last evening. It was sufficent enough to ask myself why? Why do I ever watch such lunacy. I didn’t watch any of the presentations but I sat through what seemed like the entire geological timetable as Oscar nominees or those who had something to do with the movie business uttered some complete nonsense. Then I saw a little of the monologue by host Ellen DeGeneres. She is a good comedienne but whomever wrote her material should be subjected to a video in a locked room of last night’s Oscars, over and over and over. You say you want cruel and unusual punishment??

Those of you, the two or three of you, who follow this blog on a semi-regular basis may wonder how this person who lives in his truck managed to watch the Oscars? Does he have a teevee in his truck now? Well actually, no, but it isn’t a bad idea. In reality, I was cat-sitting this weekend for my friend Sarah who was out of town. Mango, the cat, doesn’t really need sitting unless you fear that your cat will sleep itself to the hereafter. But I enjoyed the weekend of quiet and life as lived by those who have a roof over their heads. It really helped recharge the old batteries and gave my d spine a chance to straighten itself out.

For lunch, I ran into a fellow homeless chum and we had lunch at Mount Gilead Baptist Church in Beaumont. It was just super — Fried pork chops, rice and navy beans, corn bread and mustard greens. Ah, is this living or what? Thanks to those folks there who help the needy eat in a very satisfying manner.

Tom we hardly
knew ya. In
fact, we didn’t
know you at all.
Who are you?

Someone named Gov. Tom Vilsack from some state named Iowa (Motto: Awoi was the second choice) will apparently drop out of the race for the Democratic nomination for president in 2008. It seems that this Vilsack is not able to raise the millions of dollars needed to make greedy television executives rich from 30-second campaign spots, so Vilsack has decided to quit while he’s behind.

Even though we are living in the comfort of our Toycoma on the streets of Beaumont, Texas, and are so poor that we can’t buy a skunk’s odor, we here at EFD have vowed to stay in the race for president until the end.

Why would we do that? Why would we trudge onward in a campaign that is darker than dark horse? Because we don’t care whether we are elected or not. We (EFD actually, as I am just the typist) feel it is important(or not) that our message of hope (or despair) is heard loudly (or maybe toned down a might) so that it (what?) may be heard worldwide (or by a couple of people or by the frightening but fenced-in German Shepherd at the garage down the street). Whomever.

We still can’t figure out all those federal election rules about funding. Therefore, EFD asks that donations for the campaign be sent by clicking the “donation” button to your right for our homelessness fund rather than our presidential campaign fund. No matter how optimistic one may be, and I may not be very optimistic, **you just can’t successfully run a nationwide campaign for president while living out of your pickup truck. So give to the EFD for Pres … oops. I mean give to the EFD homelessness fund. We promise the funds won’t be spent on alcoholic beverages. Well, maybe a drink or two. You know, a little wine is good for you. Most doctors and 9-out-of-10 winos say so, thus it must be true.

**Victor Morales ran a good campaign out of his little white truck during his race for U.S. Senate against Phil “I’m not a hick but I sound like one” Gramm. However, Morales didn’t have to live in his pickup and was not running for president. I rest my case because it is really tired and needs a nap.

A brief thought about a half-million dollars seems breathtaking, especially if you are living in your pickup truck, like I happen to be doing right now. But if you look at slightly more than a half-million dollars which are divided among five agencies helping the homeless and the other needy in a county of about 250,000 people, well that amount starts looking like chump change.

Nonetheless, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development doled out more than $560,000 in the 2006 Homeless Grants. Those amounts were among $1.4 billion in funding for more than 5,300 homeless programs nationwide, HUD announced today.

“These grants will support thousands of local programs that are on the front lines of helping those who might otherwise be living on our streets,” said HUD Secretary Alphonso “Action” Jackson. “Whether it’s a single man living with a mental illness or a family struggling to give their children a roof over their heads, this funding is quite literally saving lives.”

Or so we hope the funds are being used for those purposes. Some agencies receiving federal money squander the money sometimes for uses such as overhead and feeding the director’s pooch. But other agencies hold their operations together with string, duct tape and a prayer and still are able to deliver services to those people of whom Meester Secretary Jackon speaks. Those agencies awarded the HUD funding in the Beaumont area are:

Family Services of Southeast Texas Inc. — $150,977.00

Port Cities Rescue Mission Ministries — $175,037.00

Buckner Children and Family Services, Inc. — $35,016.00

Some Other Place, Inc.– $111,888.00

Triangle AIDS Network– $94,476.00

Of these agencies, I am most familiar with Some Other Place and I’m not totally sure of everything that they can do for homeless and other needy. I just know they have and continue to help me. And they seem to help those who need it while operating with less flash and more elbow grease than many other organizations serving the needy. Some Other Place, their soup kitchen and Uncle Henry’s, just down McFaddin Street from Some Other Place and the soup kitchen, depend most heavily on volunteers and donations from the public. So if you are in a position to help an organization, I would recommend Some Other Place in Beaumont as a good place to start. Like some great mind once said: “They’s good people.”

Of course, you also may help EFD by clicking the donation button to your right, unless you are in Australia and then the button will be most likely on … your right. And through the magic of the Internets, these transactions fly through the air with grace, ease and speed where the money ends up in something called PayPal, which pays me after the money is transferred to my bank. So there you have it. Just think how much richer you will feel knowing you helped me, or helped a worthwhile charity such as Some Other Place, or both. Yes, you can feel much richer by such acts, all while your riches dwindle in a minute fashion. It’s amazing how giving a little money away makes one feel. It makes this one feel wonderful, both to give and to receive. But don’t take my word for it.