Author: Dick

It seems like everyone and their dog is considering a run for president in 2008. I still look for Dr. Jekyll Dubya and Mr. Rove to throw Deadeye Dick Cheney under the train sometime before his term is up and install a GOP heir-apparent. But otherwise it should be a pretty wide-open field.

The surprise of the day is that Tommy Thompson is exploring a presidential bid. Who is Tommy Thompson? Beats the hell out of me. Actually he was a Wisconsin governor, former Health and Human Services secretary and previously headed the Amtrak Board of Governors. That certainly qualifies him to be president right? That, and a (presumably) warm body.

Perhaps so many candidates will be running in 2008 that someone should introduce a line of trading cards picturng and giving the vitals of those vying for president. Collect all 600 and an all-expense paid ticket to the inaugural festivities will be yours! Yeaaaaa!

I have given some thought to running for president myself. I’m not getting any younger. And the statute of limitations have run out on most of the illegal, immoral or just plain stupid things that I did in my youth. However, I feel the most formidable challenge to getting on the ballot would be my name “eight feet deep.” I think I would rather be placed on the ballot with just my initials “EFD.” But, I remember all the hell Carole Keeton Strayhorn Foghorn Leghorn Annie Lennox Lewis Bean Burrito had when she futilely tried to get “Grandma” on the ballot in her failed run for Texas governor.

Right now, I am just exploring my options. I am not forming an exploratory committee as many potential candidates do. Instead, I am thinking about forming a committee to explore a committee that will, in turn, explore the formation of an exploratory committee. Right now the only members of my committee are Jake and Gabby, my friend’s parrots. The only problem with the parrots are they usually just repeat everything someone says or will whistle instead of deliberating.

The campaign, if there is one, is in its infancy right now. I must warn you to NOT send any money for my possible campaign just yet. However, if you want to just give me money as a kind gesture or just for the hell of it, then click the “Donation” button on the sidebar. It will be appreciated because your writer writes for tips and tips only.

Cute little Hispanic girls with grand designs to overthrow the United States and make tacos our national food.

Somehow I will try to refrain from calling government leaders in Farmers Branch, Texas, a bunch of bigoted morons. I do this not because I applaud their passing of strict anti-immigrant ordinances. Rather, at some point in time I might be called upon by some publication to write about the issue.

I know for a fact that white, bigoted morons are not the only people who want such sanctions against illegal immigration. I have homegrown Hispanic friends who feel the same way. A lot of people don’t want their tax dollars spent on social services and education for illegal Hispanics whose families, in return, send their money back home to their families in Mexico or other Hispanic-dominated countries. Some rant and rave that the open border provides ready-made escape hatches to the U.S. and are conduits for would-be terrorists. Sure, it’s something to worry about but if smart Americans could put their heads together, they could come up with at least a palatable solution to that problem.

But sometime I think this animosity against Hispanics by some in the U.S. is nothing more than racism. Let’s face it, some white folks feel Mexicans are okay as long as they keep pounding shingles on the roof or mow their yards. Otherwise … There too has been this condescending attitude by the U.S. toward Latin American states for eons. A good example of this would be the Monroe Doctrine which kept U.S. forces busy for many years in lovely places such as Cuba. I always wondered what happened to the Monroe Doctrine during the Falklands War between the U.K. and Argentina? Hmmmm.

What has taken place in Farmers Branch is just an extension of American history. If the people of the country and their elected leaders had truly wanted to stem the tide of immigration from the south, don’t you think it would have already been done? Remember FDR’s internment camps for the Japanese Americans during World War II?

Many U.S. citizens go for the knee-jerk rather than consider what brought us to where we are and determining where me might go from here. Congress passed a law for a big fence along the U.S.-Mexico border. It doesn’t matter that there are no funds to build it. The masses are asses, that is the thought our elected officials send us. Mexican and other nationals are certainly welcome to fight and die in our wars, blow leaves off our yards and cook us enchiladas in our favorite Mexican restaurant. But dammit to hell, we need to send them ol’ boys and girls back to Mexico because we are Ah-Merh-cuns, by God.

Oh well, just something to think about. Hasta la vista, baby.

“Don’t label me as shallow merely because I am beautiful and plastic.”

Google News has been a favorite site of mine for several years when I want to find news articles about a particular topic, or see a variety of takes on a topic. As those who use Google News know, it also features various international versions on the bottom of the page one might selet.

Several weeks ago, I decided to check out a few of the international Google News sites. Those sites included South Africa. Since then, each time I hit Google News I now get the South African version. This isn’t a serious issue. The news on the page is in English and I’d say less than a third of the stories are about Africa while the rest are primarily international or U.S. stories you’d normally see on Google News. It is also easy enough to scroll down to the bottom and click on the U.S. version. But I don’t understand why the South African site has hijacked my Google. I want my American Google dammit!

Speaking of Google News, I think maybe it was there where on Saturday I found a news article about a potential coup in Fiji. Granted, the story is not one that would shake loose a lot of international interest unless you regularly travel to Fiji, are planning to go or have relatives (or live) in Fiji. I spent a night in Suva, Fiji, when I was on a Navy destroyer about 28 years ago. While I thought the place was pretty in a tropical way, it seemed rather dismal over all. Nonetheless, I decided to see what little I could find on the Web about Fiji and its military history. Interestingly enough, it seemed that the first modern military operation it undertook was with the Ku Klux Klan, according to the Republic of Fiji Military Forces Web site:

“In 1872 the Royal Army successfully undertook its first operation against the Klu Klux Klan, a political organization of white settlers at Levuka which had offered armed resistance to Cakobau’s government.”

By Cakobau, I take it they mean the Fijian chief and warlord, Seru Epenisa Cakobau, who ceded his island to Queen Victoria. According to his Wikipedia entry, Cakobau also was a reformed cannibal. I suppose he found the British who made the long journey to the Pacific island a bit too difficult to clean before eating.

Veterans Affairs Secretary Jim Nicholson wants former service members to wear their medals on Saturday, Veterans Day. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I would only wear two medals were I to wear mine tomorrow, which I won’t. One of my medals would be the pictured National Defense Service Medal, which is basically given service members during a time of war, or in other words “just showing up.” The other medal would be a Navy Good Conduct Medal which was really kind of extraordinary for me since it signifies that a sailor did not get in any serious trouble during one’s enlistment. That was definitely a little harder of the two to earn.

So, I don’t have anything against Nicholson’s idea. I just wish he would put his brain power to use in other more substantial pursuits such as cutting down the length of time it takes to see VA doctors or dispensing with all the bureaucratic bulls*it that one has to endure when dealing with the VA. Now that would be a really great Veterans Day idea.