Author: Dick

Well, not yet but it’s getting there.

That is one hell of an eye in this NOAA photo. It looks as if it is the Great Gulf of Mexico Drain. All ye who pass through get sucked right under and end up in … I don’t know … Tijuana. Watch out for the donkey painted as a zebra. And beware of taxi drivers who ask if you’d like to see the donkey, umm, perform.

I worked for a certain publication today and looks as if I may do so throughout this ordeal provided I have everything I need to do so. (pulse, communications, etc.) Rita doesn’t look so good as a Cat 5 and watching one of my more trusted weather guys, Greg Bostwick at KFDM-TV Channel 6 in Beaumont, Texas, it appears Rita recently took a little jog to the north. It, Rita, needs to stop doing that because the more north it goes the worse it will likely be for us.

Voluntary evacuations are under way here. Mandatory evacuations start at 6 a.m. tomorrow for Sabine Pass. I visited there yesterday to work on a magazine story and to see what it looks like before the storm. I know that’s rather morbid, but you got to be realistic. Officials locally say they still could order mandatory evacuations. Not that it will mean much to me except I may end up roaming the nearly-empty, debris-strewn streets of Beaumont like Don Johnson’s dog in “A Boy and His Dog.”

Looks like it might rain. If only I could dance like Gene Kelly.

Subtitle: Should I stay or should I go?

It would be misleading, well more like a lie, to say that mind is focused on anything other than Hurricane Rita right now. Actually, the answer to the question posed by The Clash circa 1980s has been asked and answered. Unless something drastic changes I will be staying regardless of whether an evacuation is ordered. The question is how bad will the situation get here in Beaumont, Texas? That remains the million-dollar question.

Local officials will likely make a decision on evacuations by noon tomorrow. Galveston already has issued a mandatory evacuation, but they are an island and not 35 some-odd-miles inland as we are. Right now a lot of unknowns exist. Where will the storm make landfall? How big will the storm be? How powerful will it be, a Cat 3 or Cat 4? If it continues on its present track what are we in for on the ‘dirty side’ of the storm? Will I have enough to eat? Are Kenny and Renee really splitting up?

I know that if an evacuation is ordered I will almost surely not be going as there is a very likely possibility that I will be covering it for a publication I have done some work for recently. I’m already down to do a story for that publication tomorrow on preparations for the storm. So, we wait and wonder what we can expect, where I will be going during the storm, how I will communicate with my publication, what will happen to my apartment, what will happen to my truck, and so forth. I did stock up on a few canned goods this afternoon and bottled water was flying off the shelf at the local K-roger’s.

Depending on what happens I will try to keep the blog up and running as much as I am able during Rita’s rampage. I got a busy day tomorrow so I am going to chill awhile. Catch you all tomorrow.

I keep forgetting to celebrate national “Talk Like A Pirate Day.” Today, Sept. 19, is the day. Arrgh, matey, yeel walk th’ plank fer that one.

Two years ago I planned to celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day. I even thought about getting a pirate hat and eye patch and talking like a buccaneer. But I had to fly to El Paso on assignment and I thought I’d probably end up getting strip searched and detained since I wasn’t flying Southwest.

I completely forgot about it last year. And now it’s only hours away from the end of Talk Like A Pirate Day. For the rest of the day, however, Arrrgghhh!

Tropical Storm Rita is not quite a hurricane yet. The National Weather Service isn’t quite sure yet which direction it might travel once it becomes a hurricane. Well, welcome to life on the Gulf Coast.

The National Hurricane Center’s “Five-day Cone” pictured here guestimates a landfall that is a bit north of what it was earlier today. Here is what the weather people said in their 8 p.m. discussion:

“THE NOGAPS AND GFDN FORECAST A STRAIGHT WESTWARD TRACK INTO SOUTHERN TEXAS…WHILE THE GFS AND GFDL FORECAST A NORTHWARD BEND TOWARD THE TEXAS/LOUISIANA BORDER REGION. GIVEN THIS UNCERTAINTY…IT MUST AGAIN BE EMPHASIZED THAT FORECAST ERRORS CAN BE QUITE LARGE AT THESE LONGER LEAD TIMES.”

Just what NOGAPS and GFDNs and GFSes and GFDLs are I haven’t a clue nor do I think it is particularly germane unless you are some kind of science/weather/meteorology freak and if so, I can’t quite figure why the hell you’d want to waste your time reading my lame ass blog. What is important is the last sentence. It says: “We don’t really know. We’ll get back to you.” That’s okay though. We’re not dealing with a left-handed batter who bats .345 against a left-handed pitcher with an ERA of 0.1 who always wins at home and when the humidity is below 70 percent. We’re dealing with nature and these people at the hurricane center really have gotten pretty good at predicting this stuff, regardless of what kind of garbage you have been reading lately.

I think the only person you may have heard faulting the National Weather Service during Katrina is U.S. Sen. “Righteous Rick” Santorum, R-Pa., who would run over his mother to privatize the weather service because private weather firm AccuWeather has its headquarters in Pennsylvania.

Of course, I am keeping an eye on the storm. Even if it were to hit where the five-day cone projects we could still see some rough stuff here near the Texas-Louisiana border. It could go south of there, it could go north, or it could just stop right where it is and go in an entirely different direction entirely.

Locally, the TV stations are talking about preparations for the storm. Local officials will probably be making a decision by Wednesday whether we need to evacuate. If, and a big if, that takes place then I will have a range of options dependent on how bad the storm is and whether some publication will pay me to write about the storm.

Until then I guess I’ll just twist in the wind.

These were the largest alligators I saw Sunday at the Texas Gator Fest in Anahuac, Texas. I saw some baby alligators which the parks people were letting the kids pet (since the little gators’ snouts were taped shut). But I don’t know where they were keeping the big gators.

This annual celebration of the alligator is due to the fact that Anahuac rests among the marshes bordering Trinity Bay. The official Texas Gator Fest Web site pointed out that the Texas Legislature named Anahuac the “Alligator Capital of Texas” because gators “outnumbered humans 3-to-1.” It also was probably the last time the Legislature turned out a notable accomplishment.

Of course, the festival provided ample opportunities to buy some delicacies such as fried gator on a stick, boiled gator on a fork and gator gravy in a ladle. The latter two I just kind of made up, but I bet they don’t taste anything like chicken.

The real reason my friend Sarah and I made the trip to Gator Fest in Anahuac, located off I-10 between Houston and Beaumont, was really less about alligators and more about hearing Robert Earl Keen (below) play.

Truthfully, I don’t know how popular Robert Earl is outside of Texas but he has a very loyal and hardcore following here especially among his fellow Texas Aggies. He has not achieved the stature of his college pal Lyle Lovett. But I have the feeling he does okay for himself. Keen, who is part story-teller-troubadour-bullshitter, put on a great show despite it being so hot people were on the verge of spontaneous combustion.

Robert Earl also looked as if he was enjoying himself. That’s usually a good sign for the audience. I know I had a good time.