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Say goodbye to football. Hello to hand-shaking sock puppets!

Football season is over. The Houston Texans, my team, got drubbed by the New England Patriots. A drubbing is only slightly better than getting beaten like a rented mule, a fate that befell the Texans last month when they likewise traveled to Foxboro to take on the Pats. Perhaps the Texans should have dwelt upon their last thrashing.

Plenty has been said about last evening’s game, that both spoken and written by professional homers and haters alike. Those of us, like me, who don’t know their ass from third and long about football have their opinions as well. We all know what they say about opinions.

I was hoping a team would be left that I could root for but it didn’t happen this time. I hate both the Patriots and the Ravens equally. I liked the 49ers once upon a time, but under the West Coast Harbaugh, no more. I have nothing against the East Coast Harbaugh. I also know big media is salivating over the possibility of the Harbaugh Brothers matching up, the 49ers and Ravens, for a Super Bowl match. I wonder if the San Fran coach would shake his bro’s hand after the game?

One might suppose I should root for Hot-lanta since a couple of local kids are playing — DE Johnathan Babineaux of Port Arthur and linebacker Sean Weatherspoon from my birthplace of Jasper, Texas. Nothing personal, I just hate Atlanta teams. I went to Atlanta once when I was in the Navy. Don’t remember a whole lot about it except getting lost and hearing an AM radio band the next morning, a Sunday, full of more Holy Rollin’ preachers than you could shake a spared rod at. But Atlanta sports teams just piss me off. I think “Chipper” (Don’t Call Me ‘Larry’) Jones of the Braves baseball team is to blame. I never really liked that boy.

Oh, I probably will watch the Super Bowl for the commercials, although the ads have gone into a downward spiral lately. Maybe I will just find a good book instead or perhaps put on a sock puppet show. Yes, John and Jim Harbaugh starring in: “There are no shaking hands at the OK Corral!!”

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Houston at Foxboro: Tom Terrific or the terrorizing Texans?

If you listen to a lot of sports media — and really, I don’t — then you might think about just skipping Sunday’s AFC divisional title match between the Houston Texans and the New England Patriots. After all, the 12-4 Texans were beaten like a dirty rug in their 42-14 ass-whooping from the Patriots on a Sunday night in December in Foxboro. That’s heavy on the “Patriots,” “Sunday night,” “December” and “Foxboro.” New England is invincible on Sunday nights in December in Foxboro. Not to mention the Patriots ship is piloted by none other than “Tom Terrific” Brady. Why Brady is not only the best quarterback in NFL history. Brady can save young children and puppy dogs from ultimate doom. He is the ultimate, handsome, thoughtful QB of lore.

But one could bet heavy that Terrific is not merely brushing off his trillion-dollar lapels symbolically over the Texans. That is even though a great deal of sports media, even some hometown jock yackers, say Schaub, Foster, Johnson and Watt as well as the rest of the gang are playing with a fork stuck up their collective butts.

Really says though that the best argument to made for Houston’s stature in the NFL is its record. The naysayers say the Texans beat lightweight teams. Horse hockey. Having played and won 12 games is a feat in the big leagues no matter whether you slice it length-wise, cross-wise or julienne.

Some of the same media types who were insisting the Texans would win the Super Bowl this year now say the team is pretenders to the throne. That is mostly due to having lost four games to four, well at least three, very good teams.

Sure, Houston has problems that plague them like all teams. Not nearly enough success in the red zone is one shortfall. Everyone knows the Wade Phillips defense is a holy terror. Brady spent part of his time practicing for Houston last time by having someone wave a tennis racket in front of him to simulate the ball-whumping of monster defensive end J.J. Watt. However, one would have thought Wade left part of his squad at home. One could as well sense a lack of confidence in QB Matt Schaub last week in the win over the Bengals last week. But that wouldn’t seem terribly abnormal since it was his first playoff game. Hopefully he can elevate his confidence this second time around.

Finally, I have seen some great plays out of Houston’s special teams squad. Whereas earlier in the season I would hold my breath a little too long when a kickoff came toward Keshawn Martin. He appears more sure of himself and appears to exercise better judgment on whether he should stay or should he go on kick returns. It’s a good thing to learn for a young special teams returner who plays wide receiver. The rookie out of Michigan State is 5-11, 190. I’d love to be 190 again. Hell, I’d love to be 5-11 again. But when one is running against people who get paid to knock the living donkey dust out of you, Martin definitely can be low hanging fruit.

Rational me thinks New England by a touchdown this Sunday afternoon. The real me believes though. So I believe Houston will upset the Patriots 34-24. We will just have to wait and see how terrific Tom Terrific and his gang of merry men really are against a Texans team who still feels a sting from that beating in December.

 

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Wildcard Weekend waiting

I will make it short and sweet for the weekend, as I am still recovering from the flu or whatever. I wish that the Houston Texans would have had a bye this weekend. But they were beaten by Indianapolis, so the AFC South champs ends up playing a wild card team, Cincinnati. The Texans should win. But they should have beaten the Colts, and they didn’t. So, once again it is time to wait and see. Wait for 3:30 p.m. Central on Saturday and see what happens when the 10-6 Bengals visit the 12-4 Texans at Reliant. Wait, wait, wait. Patience my ass …

Here is the TV “Game Center” for the playoff games. Everybody have fun. Yeah, I know that is impossible. Why do you think I said it?

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Monday Night Football stinks. Oh yeah, Houston got stomped last night

Monday Night Football. Ugghhhhh. I don’t know what was worse, the ass kicking that the Patriots gave  Houston last night or having to watch the game on Monday Night Football.

Jon Gruden to the Dallas Cowboys?

Gruden to Oakland?

It seems you can’t read sports without hearing rumors of ESPN analyst and former Super Bowl-winning coach Jon Gruden taking some head coaching job somewhere. I wish the hell he’d go somewhere other than on ESPN.

The NFL Today: Arkansas, Tennessee want Jon Gruden

Good. We don’t.

Why do I dislike Gruden as a broadcaster? Why doesn’t cats and dogs get along? It’s just Jon Gruden being Jon Gruden the broadcaster. He is arrogant. He is self-promoting. He is Jon Gruden.

And yeah, as a Boston.com headline read today of the Sunday night rout by the Patriots over 11-1 Houston: “A game of Texas Fold-em.”

But fear not Texans fans. The team has faced defeat for most of its life as an NFL team. They’ve stared loss in the face before, even this year, with Green Bay. The Packers have lost four of its 13 games to the 49ers, Seattle, Indianapolis and the Giants. New England lost to Arizona, Baltimore and Seattle. The season isn’t over, yet.

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Still kicking, hanging onto the cliff, working on the weekend, remembering those “Night Moves”

Here comes the weekend. Woo hoo! I have to work eight hours tomorrow, but I’m not complaining. I have decided to share some of the reading I found on a couple of items of interest. Rather than my take on something — we know what that’s worth — maybe someone will learn something they didn’t know from this. Then again, maybe not.

Also, I am painstakingly not writing my opinion because I might eventually write a freelance piece for some publication that is somewhat related to the issue. I am talking about the NFL commissioner floating the idea that the football kickoff should cease because studies show the kickoff is where most injuries occur during that task. One side issue which is related to this story is the lawsuits which were filed on the NFL by more than 3,900 plaintiffs over the neuro-cognative damage from serial concussions sustained in playing football . Roger Goodell, NFL Commissioner, proposed that the kickoff go the way of leather helmets. Instead, a team would get the ball on the 30-yard-line with a 4th down and 15-yard situation. The team could either punt or take its chances on making 15 yards or more for the 1st down. Opinions? Yeah, I have opinions. What about them? But I will keep this one to myself.

Finally, if we haven’t had enough talk of “going over the cliff” now stories are circulating how air travel may be affected if we indeed are flung off that cliff. The FAA would have less flight controllers, the program that props up some little airports would end so some smaller airports might have to shut down, as well as TSA screeners perhaps having to go. (I bet Rep. Gohmert would like that.) In the run, air travel would be much more costly, and this could all add to another recession.

On that cheery little note, I bid you a farewell for the weekend. Yeah, buddy! I saw them at the “Super Bowl of Rock and Roll” on June 12, 1982, with my friend Suzie, her sister and some friend of a friend. Loverboy appeared on that hot Dallas day in the Cotton Bowl with (Louisiana) Le Roux, Ozzy Osborne and Foreigner. That was the second time I saw Foreigner. I caught them back in ’77 at the City Park Stadium in New Orleans with some four of my Navy buddies. Also at that concert, in something like June 1977 was Bob Seger, Louisiana Le Roux (must of been Deja Roux in Dallas) and Fleetwood Mac. The latter group’s single “Dreams” from their Rumours album was No. 1 on the Billboard Singles chart that same month. Seger’s “Night Moves” reached No. 4 after its release in October 1976. So needless to say Fleetwood Mac and Seger were extremely hot when I saw them in New Orleans. I also got to experience my only foreign rock concert later that year in 1977 when Fleetwood Mac played in Auckland, New Zealand. Just reliving some good times, man!