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The news is a commercial-free comedy channel is on local radio: Is the joke on us?

It isn’t the OJ trial. It isn’t even the local case of Calvin Walker, the electrician who allegedly bilked the Beaumont school district out of several million dollars. But one would think that when the programming of one area radio station for the past month consists of nothing but comedy — not even commercials — isn’t that worth a story?

This little blurb on a site called radio-info.com explains all that I have heard about “Comedy 103.3” in Beaumont, Texas. Radio mega-owner Clear Channel Radio apparently owns the FM translator in question. Just what a translator does is explained here, which makes it for the tech challenged such as me, clear as mud. In its most basic sense, a TV or FM translator allows broadcast signals into places that cannot receive the primary signal of a radio or TV station.

In older days, I might just walk next door to the building that houses five or maybe six Clear Channel stations, walk in the door and just ask those who work there what in the hell is up? Maybe I’ll go ask tomorrow. But judging the multi-stations these days — which probably has one person announcing — you are likely to get a pat on the head and a kick in the ass out of the facility.

What drips in irony is that one of only a few TV stations in the area that does local news sits next door to the building housing all of the Clear Channel stations. Of course, the Clear Channel group also has a “news-talk” station in its facility. KLVI 560 AM also does local news, though not a hell of a lot. Going local for news where I live isn’t as sure a bet as it once was.

In the meantime, I am pretty happy with the comedy I’ve heard lately on this newly configured frequency. Some of it gets played over and over, of course. But there are some pretty hilarious bits — some even raunchy and very un-PC these days — for one to hear. The bits played might range from Jerry Clower’s deep-country tales to Cheech and Chong’s hilarious “song” “Earache My Eye.”

I have no idea how far geograhically this comedy channel, 103.3 on the FM dial, reaches. I listed to it for a good 30 miles or more when I was driving on Texas 105 last week coming back from Dallas. Since they never talk on the station — too good to be true, I know — my crystal ball sees a short lifespan for this funny bidness.

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Something stinks in here!

Below is the only known photo of the elusive EFD.

I plucked a previously inert Webcam program this afternoon to record my very first attempt at injecting myself intramuscularly with B-12. Don’t worry, it’s prescribed for anemia. I didn’t know I had anemia, but hey the VA just loads you up with medicine that you can’t really afford.

The shot didn’t hurt but I doubt it did much good because I couldn’t get enough medicine injected. I guess I will go by the VA clinic on my day off tomorrow and get more great tips. The video wasn’t riveting, it was 6 minutes long, it may be useful to me in learning from mistakes. My neurologist says I will be shooting myself in the arm each month for approximately, the rest of my life. I have to give myself a shot every day for a week. Then once a week for five weeks, then I can slack off to monthly. Meanwhile, enjoy the photo. The mask was a visual effect with the program, known as  Cyber Link You Cam.

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A trade-off in today’s world is substituing one problem for another

It must be a law, as in that of gravity, when a solved problem results in a happy ending another problem pops from the wings to replace it.

For more than five years on my part-time job — funny it doesn’t feel part-time — I had to use the world’s slowest dial-up for the majority of my e-mail communication and for transmitting my work to our Washington offices. I harangued my supervisors for high-speed as much as possible without actually insulting them and when that didn’t work I tried finding solutions on my own.

Only a month ago and after a long battle with Verizon, I finally got an Internet connection that works without major interruptions. The device is a Verizon Jetpack, or MiFi, which is like having my own personal WiFi hotspot. The device can accommodate up to five computers. Since I can provide a secure connection with it I was able to use it for connecting my work computer, which often transmits and receives confidential material. I mean, it’s not plans for the A-bomb but it is nonetheless confidential and shouldn’t fall in the hands of those who have no business with that information.

Even though I have to pay for my MiFi and received no compensation for using it for work, I still used it on the job because it has provided many less fits and tantrums for all the problems caused by my dial up.

So wouldn’t you know it? I got settled in good using my MiFi for work and I finally get the storied Blackberry which was long alleged as headed our way at work as the answer to all our problems. We are using the Blackberry for communication — phone, text, e-mail, browsing and other applications such as GPS — as well as its use as a modem to transmit my data to the District of Confusion.

I like the Blackberry okay, so far, if I can ever learn to use it. We have a pretty fair deal hammered out by our union for its use such as the GPS can’t be used for tracking and the phones can’t be used for taking attendance. But did I say problems, still? Yes, there are a few.

First of all, unlike my trusty personal Verizon LG phone, the Blackberry has no inside keypad. There are a lot of shortcuts to learn otherwise you will be punching untold numbers of keys for “Alt” or “Shift” including punctuation and numbers. It has a ton of apps. Plus, the keys are too tiny. I have to get the password input several times between it and my work tablet/laptop when “tethering” the devices for modem usage. To combine my problem using the keypad is my benign essential tremors which sometimes are worse than others. I use my index finger a lot these days.

But the ‘berry has pretty decent speed.

Now I also have the problem of more hardware to tote around. I have a holster in which to carry my Blackberry and must also have a USB cable for tethering. No problem with the latter, I just stick it in the ever-filling computer bag. I also have my cell phone, my Blackberry, my computer, two chargers, not to mention my work laptop/tablet. No, make that three chargers. there is also a charger for the MiFi which is strangely enough identical to those for my two phones. All three work on all three devices, which is kind of amazing. It seems like for awhile every computer or electronic do-dad had a different charger, the better which the company could sell it to you.

My life has become like an ever-growing trade show of electronic crapola. I can remember back slightly more than 20 years ago when I didn’t even have a phone, of any kind, and no pager, nor even much of a TV. No cable. I used rabbit ears. I didn’t even have a clock radio, much less a boom box, or a stereo except for the radio and cassette player my car. I am thinking of when I first worked as a weekly newspaper editor and drove an almost 20-year-old BMW 2002. But no, I didn’t have a phone and I was editor of the paper. Hey, it was a small town.

Perhaps someday some gizmo will eliminate the need for a whole bunch more gizmos. I know there are companies that advertise some devices that are “all you ever need.” Yeah, right. In the meantime, I hear the phone ringing. Which one is it? Damn it!

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Verizon continues to stink at servicing my problems

What is wrong with these people?

I am speaking of Verizon Wireless. Let’s see, I’ve gone through five different wireless devices in slightly more than a month since “upgrading” to their 4G, or fourth generation of wireless telecommunications coverage. You know, the one they say provides “lightning” speed. I was advised after raising holy hell with the company that the two cell towers within a mile of where I was living were conflicting with other. When I moved up the street, for what I hope is temporarily, coverage is even worse. During peak usage hours I can’t even get 3G or no G coverage. Luckily, the hotel has pretty decent Wi-fi.

To attempt to get anything done I have had to hang up on Verizon people,  yell at them, threaten them with bad media exposure, just any damn measure which will get their attention. I have found that persistence is what usually pays off.

Still, I am baffled that a company that says they “care” about the customer would allow such crappy service to continually take place. So bewildered I was that I sent an e-mail to their Houston media relations office asking questions about that very same topic. I don’t know whether the media flak listed on their Web  site, Gretchen LeJeune, answers inquiries from bloggers/customers. I know so far, she has not replied and I am definitely not holding my breath.

I received my last replacement wireless internet device, a Samsung Hotspot, in six — count ’em — six different boxes. It looks like I will get this Novatel replacement in at least two. I managed to raise enough hell this afternoon that Verizon said they would cough up an extra 20 bucks to hopefully have me delivered a battery and back cover to the so-called “Mi-fi.” We shall see if that happens.

This is what I would call the definition of “bad” customer service. Maybe bad is a little too weak. But I will leave at that because I am worn out. I hope that you have a great Easter weekend, providing you deserve it.

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Verizon’s lightning fast speed delivered in geological years

Verizon Wireless likes to tout its “lightning fast 4G speeds.” I have the third 4G device from that company in less than two weeks. It is a Samsung mobile hotspot. I used the term “MiFi” the other day. I think that is actually Novatel’s version. Both are similar gizmos. The mobile hotspot is a very simple little box that allows one to allegedly connect up to five computers at once and deliver the Internet at, once again, its “lightning fast” speed. Wow. Lightning. That would be pretty damned fast wouldn’t it? All kidding aside, it has allowed me to tame the rowdy piece of crap Lenovo half-tablet, half-notebook, half-ass computer I have to use at work. That is an unintended consequence however.

Sometimes the device does come up with some very fast speeds, both uploading and downloading. It’s best if you stick it in a window though. The hotspot also has a tendency to stall and, it seems at least, it takes a bit of time to reboot the device.

What has been the worst feature about this wireless gadget is that, as fast as Verizon claims to be, they turn out to be very slow and very careless in getting the gizmo to the customer. For instance, I got the device itself on Monday. Since the battery had to be shipped from a different point than the hotspot, the battery didn’t come until Tuesday. I spent a day of annual leave to make sure I was home for the FedEx guy.

Upon opening the package with the battery, I noticed that the charger that was supposed to come with the battery was nowhere to be found. It is pretty crucial because the battery uses up its juice in less than five hours. Fortunately, my phone charger fit the mobile hotspot. Actually, it is more like amazing because as anyone who has bought more than one electronic gadget knows, every device seems to have its own unique battery charger. It’s kind of like each snowflake being different.

My charger came today, but since I was working I will have to pick it up at FedEx tomorrow. And guess what else I discovered? The Verizon geniuses sent me the wrong battery cover. I kind of wondered why the battery seemed to bounce around when I pull it out of my computer bag after a drive home from work. Now I know. The young girl I spoke to at Verizon awhile ago said that Tuesday was the earliest I could receive what is the right battery cover. That means I probably won’t get it until Wednesday.

This would all be good for a big laugh were this not a product of rampant stupidity on the part of Verizon and its employees. Or maybe it is rampant stupidity mixed with gross negligence or they are just being mean to me. I know that the latter sounds paranoid but I really have been riding their asses at Verizon like jockeys at Churchill Downs on Derby Day. Poor little gal, the last I spoke to, I told her rather loudly that “I DON’T CARE IF YOU SEND THE THING AT CHRISTMAS!!!” That is probably what they will do.

Now that I have that out of my system, perhaps I will let someone know what I really think about Verizon.