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Why so sad?

When something falls in the media’s lap it can make for some very, very happy people. People such as newspaper reporters and TV journalists and especially editors and news directors get downright giddy when something just appears out of nowhere and “poof:” Instant story.

So the media folk here where I live, Beaumont, Texas, must be jumping for joy at the release of a University of Vermont study that uses among other methods, a “geo-tagged data set comprising over 80 million words generated over the course of several recent years on the social network service Twitter … “ The conclusion lists the happiest and unhappiest states and cities in the U.S. The happiest state: Hawaii. It makes sense, it’s a pretty place and great temperature year-round. The saddest state is Louisiana. That’s kind of confusing when you have New Orleans rising back from near death. The happiest city: Napa, Calif. Think wine, spody-ody. And, drum roll, the saddest city: Beaumont.

Yes, Beaumont, Texas. Time to get busy local media. We’ve got big news right here in River City.

It’s funny these academicians which include mathematics and statistics professors as well as those in the computing field are able to study 10 million “geo-tagged tweets” over some 373 urban areas to determine who is the happiest and those who are saddest. What is sad is how they characterize their data field: “This corpus is a subset of Twitter’s garden hose feed, and represents roughly 10% of all geotagged tweets posted in 2011.” Huh?

Corpus, I get. I have no idea what a garden hose feed might entail.

The gist, if I may oversimplify it, appears to be that words were studied by geographical location on the social network Twitter. The appearance of certain words determine what’s happy and what’s not.

But Ma, I don’t even know what a Twitter is.

I have read some reporting of this story, specifically of Beaumont being the saddest city in the U.S. So far there is little local reporting. I did hear the story discussed on “The Blitz,” the goofy and enjoyable drive time show on sports talk ESPN 97.5 FM in Houston as I drove home this afternoon. The interest in Houston, besides being 88 miles away from Beaumont, is that even closer Texas City is No. 3 unhappiest in the U.S. To make matters worse for us, we have two cities in the same county on the Top 15 saddest. Behind Beaumont is lucky No. 13, Port Arthur, our south Jefferson County Golden Triangle center. Orange, in adjacent Orange County, is at the end of the third leg of the triangle. I have no idea how it fared.

I have lived here in Beaumont on and off for seven years. Am I sad? Yeah, but I have a lot on my mind what with suffering from chronic pain and with the lack of income staring me down due to the stupidity in Washington known as sequestration. I can also say Beaumont is a pretty angry place. Much of it has to do with wealth envy and race. Beaumont is majority African-American now. It didn’t use to be before “white flight” took place. I was in Lumberton today, a city about 8 miles north of Beaumont in Hardin County. I was shocked to see the Lumberton city limit sign. The place has more than 11,000 citizens now. I can remember when Lumberton was so small it was just a little dot on the map. Much of its growth can be tied to “white flight.”

Economics make people mad, believe me. This is very much a city, Beaumont, in which the divide between the “haves” and the “have nots” can be substantial.

We have a lot of problems here, like everywhere. I have been and even lived in much sadder cities than this, however, and I didn’t need Twitter to tell me. All one needs is a good hog. Then, if you’re happy and you know it slap your ham.

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Catch the crook who robbed my bank

This week I am out of town — until I take that little ol’ jet airliner back to Houston and ride a shuttle bus back to Beaumont. If I would have waited until Monday I could have flown from Beaumont directly to Dallas, where I am currently hanging out. Instead I had to fly this past Monday so I took a little bus to Houston and a way too narrow jet to Dallas.

It seems once again as I am away the whole town turns to crap. It isn’t as though I could do anything about it though. No, I  seriously speak of yet another bank robbery. What is this, the fifth one in the Golden Triangle of SE Texas area lately? There was about four in Beaumont and one in Vidor. I think police nabbed a suspect in two of the robberies.

Now once again another robbery took place. This was at my banking company, not necessarily my bank. Police said a man who said he had a gun, walked into the VVBA Compass Bank at 2635 Interstate 10 East in Beaumont, and demanded money.

“I demand money, damn you!” is what he said. No, not really. I mean, I don’t know what he said. He could have used signing for all I know.

The bandit was given what police say was an undetermined amount of money. I am sure it was determined fairly quickly. It is just the bank and police — mostly the bank I imagine — don’t want you to know how much money was stolen. The thief then ran east on foot. Well, probably on two feet to be exact. The Beaumont Police say they are looking for the alleged crook as are the FBI.

If you see the robber, call somebody. Preferably, the police or Crime Stoppers.

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Will Perry run or just hunt coyotes?

If I had access to Lexis-Nexis I bet I could find a quote where our Good-haired Guv, Mr. Perry, supports term limits. I say that because he has been in elected office for some time now. Maybe he didn’t say it at a press availability which now seems to be favored by both politicians and media alike because it is easy. Maybe he said at some small town function where he, as a young House member, didn’t figure the Whipoorwill City news made it to Austin or Dallas.

But I don’t have Lexis. I don’t even have PublicData at the moment. It would be something rich to throw in Good Hair’s face when he runs for Governor or President or Travis County commissioner. The GOP wouldn’t care. Hypocrites are no problem. The Democrats would make hay with such lines, for sure.

And we should care why? It looks like the Guv might just run again.

Perry told the Dallas Regional Chamber that his biggest potential foe as governor, Attorney General Greg Abbott has pledged he will not run against him if he decides to run for an unprecedented fourth term. Of course, that’s if Abbott doesn’t decide to have the governor indicted for some crime or the other. Then he runs for governor. That also depends whether one of the big powers in Texas politics decides to run against him. There are certainly some big pols circling the Governor’s Mansions like buzzards these days. I speak of Lite Gov. David Dewhurst, and others who have been patiently waiting their turn to be picked as the “Good Party Man,” or lady if, for instance, Comptroller Susan Combs decides it’s her turn.

The chamber types were told by the Guv that he would decide sometime this summer. I can’t hardly wait.

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California burnin,’ Texas style!

Well if this isn’t a fine how do you do. The state of California is known for its wild fires that get out of control when the Santa Ana winds start blowing and whatever other kinds of natural freaks show up. And now? I don’t know whether the state just doesn’t have enough left to burn or is worried about what is left. But, a California university wants to pay to burn a patch of Texas ground.

Now I know the fire and environmental folks around Houston, where the 115 acres was scheduled for torching during the gusty winds this afternoon, have seen plenty of their own land go up in smoke and flames. Hey, wake up! Remember the disaster last year in Bastrop? Almost 1,700 homes burned up in the county, less than 100 miles away from Houston.

I suppose some of the folks out on the left coast just have money to burn. Break out the Gatorade for the firefighters and some margaritas for the neighbors. This sounds like something Guvnuh Good Hair Perry dreamed up.

 

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Monkeying around with iPods: Will it lead to gambling in Texas?

Let’s see. You have Super Bowl XLVII being played at the Mercedes-Benz Superbowl. That grand old venue has moved on up from its days as the Louisiana Superdome, back when I saw the very first concert there featuring the Allman Brothers.

Oh lawd, somebody done bought a Mercedes-Benz! Then you got the Mardi Gras going on, Fat Tuesday itself a week from Tuesday coming. So you for sure got some crazy happening.

Then, of course, you got the “Brother Bowl.” Two brothers named Harbaugh happen to be coaching against each other. The only thing that could be more perfect for the media would be two brothers coaching against each other and two brothers as QB facing each other. Kind of like say, the hometown New Aw’lens Manning boys. Wouldn’t that be something! But the Mannings aren’t playing — except probably in one of those $4 million tv spots — so that means only one thing that could be better. Yes suh! Monkeys!

And leave it to the folks on the Island, I’m talking Galveston Island, to produce some monkeys to go prognosticate the Super Bowl winners.

Three saki monkeys with iPads have picked the San Francisco 49ers to win the Super Bowl over the Baltimore Ravens. Glory be!

 “Two of the monkeys selected made their selections by painting on the 49ers logo. The third showed his feelings on the game by placing unhappy faces on the Ravens logo,” said a press release from Moody Gardens, where the sakis and other wild things live in a 10-story glass pyramid. Those island folks can be plenty crazy, you know.
The Rainforest Pyramid is a 10-story glass structure that is home to more than 1,000 species of plants and animals, the Moody Gardens release from PR Newswire said. After a $25 million enhancement in 2011, visitors are able to experience more rainforest life from around the world, including Africa, Asia and the Americas. Many of the animals within the pyramid are free-roaming, like the saki monkeys and cotton-top tamarinds.
 
Cotton-top tamarinds? Why I think I saw some of those island sugars dressed in cotton-top tamarinds. Or maybe not. The PR folks for Moody Gardens say the iPads those little monkeys are using is part of an “enrichment program.” Enrichment? Like maybe gambling? Galveston used to be known for that way back when the island was wide open with famous places like the Balinese.
If some folks have their way and their wishes come true with casino gambling, Galveston could become something in between New Orleans and Atlantic City. The Texas Lege is in session as we speak but casino gambling will be a hard sell for Texas. Years ago, all the hyper-religious groups kept such establishments away. But now the religious have a friend in that fight. The friend is big gambling which is found in every state bordering The Lone Star State.
We’ll see what happens. But you have to watch them monkeys. They’re sneaky little devils. First thing it’s football and the next thing all of a sudden its “Seven come 11.”  You know all that talk about evolution and stuff.