Kim Jong Il can now boast of air conditioned pigs fed through pipes

Every once in awhile it is helpful to sit back and take a gander at truth, North Korean style. Yes, ladies and gerbils, I am talking about “Korean News: News from Korean Central News Agency.” This is, of course, from the state-run news agency of North Korea. Perhaps it is best to not even comment upon this late 20th century-styled news sheet, but let the reader interpret the news of the lonely communist nation. That is, provided one can first understand what they hell they are talking about.

The North Koreans always practice with their most bellicose statements. Sad to say for them, their language seems to be their worst enemy.

U.S., S. Korea’s Military Provocations Censured by Nepali Organization

Pyongyang, November 14 (KCNA) — The Nepalese Committee for Promotion of Reunification of Korea released a statement on Nov. 7 denouncing the United States and the south Korean puppet warmongers for their frantic war moves against the DPRK.

The statement said: The Nepalese Committee for Promotion of Reunification of Korea expresses serious concern over the fact that the U.S. and the south Korean warmongers recently staged large-scale Hoguk joint military exercises under the pretext of coping with someone’s “provocation” and had confabs on “provision of deterrent including nuclear umbrella” at the annual security consultative meeting, thus bringing again the grave situation to the Korean Peninsula.

Whatever the relationship North Korea and Nepal share is beyond me and certainly will not be keeping me up this evening worrying about that alliance. The best that I can tell is the countries have diplomatic relations and there are also, according to this Wikipedia article, “a number” of North Korean restaurants in Kathmandu. Who knew?

We certainly cannot blame the North Koreans of trying to keep their culture buried underground. This food article, will no doubt, shock more than one Westerner:

Kimchi, Traditional Food of Korea

Pyongyang, November 14 (KCNA) — Kimchi, one of the Korean nation’s traditional dishes, is very popular in the country for its peculiar flavor and nutritive substances. The dish is mainly divided into two — kimchi prepared for winter and kimchi made for other seasons.

Winter kimchi is an important part of the Korean people’s diet in the winter season. So, it has been called half-yearly food.

Kimchi made for other seasons is diverse in kind. It is prepared with vegetables or edible herbs. With the popularity of kimchi steadily increasing in other countries, its preparing methods have been widespread worldwide. Kimchi is considered health food with a peculiar medical effect caused by the action of lactic acid bacteria.

Perhaps the North Korean government doesn’t know that kimchi can be purchased in many larger American food stores and served in Korean-American restaurants. I’m sure Kim Jong Il would blame this on the result of the CIA and its infiltration. This revealing look into the dietary habits of what has been described by some as a half-starving country raises the question of what is the food during the other half of the year? Also, why is it half-yearly if it is only a staple of the winter season? “Peculiar flavor” and “peculiar medical effect?” This lends itself to a great international slogan: “Kimchi–It’s twice as peculiar!”

Kim Jong Il’s Work Carried in Bulletin

Pyongyang, November 14 (KCNA) — The Latin American Institute of the Juche Idea carried in the 2nd issue of its bulletin the gist of General Secretary Kim Jong Il’s celebrated work “The Songun-based Revolutionary Line Is a Great Revolutionary Line of Our Era and an Ever-Victorious Banner of Our Revolution.”

The country’s esteemed leader should, at the very least, receive a heavy medal reward for such a long title which uses the root word “Revolution” three times.

And to show that I learned something from my local TV news stations. I leave this interesting mix of North Korean news with an animal story.

Taedonggang Pig Farm Automated

Pyongyang, November 14 (KCNA) — The Taedonggang Pig Farm built in Pyongyang some time ago has introduced an integrated automatic system in its management and production.

All the processes of the farm, including feed processing and supply suitable for species, ages and health conditions of pigs, are operated by computer.

Granulated feed, assorted differently to suit breeding and fattening pigs and piglets, are supplied to air-conditioned pigpens through pipes.

The number and weight of slaughtered pigs are automatically calculated. The integrated automatic system is also good for the anti-epizootic work.

Leave the audience smiling. All should be so happy that Kim Jong Il finally got that damn pig farm automated! I’m sure he has wished for that since childhood. I mean who wouldn’t breathlessly anticipate an automated pig farm where “pigs and piglets” can be fattened up through pipes “supplied to air-conditioned pigpens?” Isn’t that enough to make PETA want to up and leave for the People’s Republic?

Have a nice day! Anyone for nice heaping helping of Daeli Galbi?