Eight Feet Deep

With apologies to Blackie Sherrod once again … Scatter shooting and wondering whatever happened to Pia Zadora.

If you want to play six degrees of separation of Kevin Bacon or whomever or however many degrees all you need is the Internet and Wikipedia for that matter. I was trying to remember who sang the 1965 novelty hit “The Name Game.” You know, Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, banana panna po pearly … Ah, those were the days of deep lyrics. Well, it was Shirley Ellis in case you are in deep suspense.

Reading about Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, probably much unlike Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, I was interested to learn that Pia Zadora had covered one of Shirley’s songs “The Clapping Song.” I have to confess that I don’t remember that one. Even more interesting than the fact that Pia, Pia, Pia and her first husband bought Pickfair, the home of legendary actors Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks, the wiki article about Pia stated the famous (for something or other) actress and singer had donated to both Republican and Democratic candidates. The Open Secrets Web page listing her contributions do not exactly make her look like Jack Abramoff. Hint: Under the election cycle box, check all the years but not the “search all cycles,” then hit “search all cycles.” Don’t ask me why. I didn’t set up the database.

Okay just for fun. Let’s do one more famous contributor:

Mr. Sulu, that’s quite a chunk of change! Yes, it seems “Star Trek” actor George Takei has freely given cash to a number of politicos.

Speaking of George Takei, what’s the deal with William Shatner freaking out over Takei which apparently was rooted in the failure of the former Sulu not inviting the good captain to Takei’s wedding with his longtime guy friend? Oh my.

Yes, I am in need of a life.

The lyrics ” … she’s so fine there’s no tellin’ where the money went … ” from the late Robert Palmer’s irrepressible “Simply Irresistible” would remind me of Sarah Palin except for two small matters.

First, I don’t think the GOP Veep candidate is all that fine. She isn’t horrible but I don’t think she would get as far in a beauty contest today as she did some years back. And secondly, there is some “tellin'” where the money went especially the money the GOP spent to doll her up and dress her to the nines.

The linked AP story tells all about how the GOP spent $105,000 in donations to pretty up the Alaska governor.

At least she will be the most expensively dressed candidate for vice president this year.

EFD afterthought: For those of you who may have read this in various stages and with type-Os (like Cheerios but with a bite)and various misspellings, who gives a rat’s ass? It’s not like I’m getting paid for this bulls**t!!! and more !!! No actually, I am truly sorrymisspellingisnotagoodthing.orsnotagoodthing.

Oh, no here they come. It’s the return of the mannequins!!! Here again to brighten up our day. One of EFD’s most favorite obsessions. And she’s singing: “I’m too sexy for my lips, too sexy for my lips … ”

Perhaps you thought I put away the mannequins for good. Well, actually I brought them (her, it) back by accident in order to construct a very shallow visual pun. Oh, I see and what might that very shallow visual pun be, you might ask?

Surely it wouldn’t be … FACEBOOK???

Yes, I am sad to say that’s what it is.

For in my real life I have joined the world of social networking. It is experimental in this phase but the best benefit I have seen so far is visiting with some old friends.

Facebook is sort of like blogging but it seems that it can wrest control away from the user unlike a blog, on which you can exert control. Or so it seems. I haven’t really looked into every aspect of Facebook, just as I don’t read everything there is to read about blogging … or anything else it seems except for presidents. Ah, half-assed EFD! Oh well, it is good to have fresh mannequins to remind me of those heady days not so long ago. Why? I haven’t a clue. And they weren’t that heady. Hmm. It seems I have painted myself into a corner. Time to escape.

Sarah Tina Fey Palin signs something with a rather sturdy headless woman looking on.

So much was made in the media — as all things overblown tend to be — about the Saturday Night Live appearance of GOP Veep candidate and Moose Field Dressing Goddess Sarah Palin.

Palin, as those who may have watched SNL a time or two may know, bears a striking resemblance to actress Tina Fey, or vice versa. In fact, they look as if they were separated at birth. I watched the Palin appearance and I couldn’t tell them apart. The bit actually gave me a headache. It didn’t help matters that the skit wasn’t funny, as SNL has mostly ceased to be for the past 20 years.

I am sure Palin got something positive out of her appearance although I can’t figure out what it might be. I figure if anyone got screwed it was Tina Fey. But as its been pointed out, Palin hasn’t even held a news conference. How bizarre this culture has become.

Note: The content of this post was missing for a little while. I don’t know why. I guess it’s one of those things that happen to blogs. Sorry for the inconven … the inconvenie … the problem.

Our city’s so-called “alternative” newspaper, The Examiner, is this week examining trains blocking our local intersections for long chunks of time.

All of the streets routinely bottlenecked by trains are east-west routes which link the rest of Beaumont (Texas) with downtown. I have to drive on these streets almost every day for work or other reasons. I also go walking daily beside the switching yard which is the hub of all this railroad action.

It can be annoying having to sit and wait for as many as 30 minutes for rail cars to do whatever it they are supposed to do.

The Examiner talked to our mayor and city manager who say they plan to dust off a state law and a seldom-used city ordinance which prohibits trains from blocking intersections for more than 10 minutes in the case of the state law and half that for the city one. I mention dusting because the police haven’t written a citation for trains blocking the streets since 2004. A grand total of two tickets have been written during the past 10 years.

Obviously, if you absolutely, positively have to be somewhere at a certain time, the trains sitting there as you are sitting there can be quite frustrating. If the trains are extremely long ones, such as those full of military cargo headed to or from the Port of Beaumont, one has a choice of two ways to get around the trains. One is to head south on Martin Luther King Boulevard for two miles or so to the rail overpass at the College Street-MLK interchange. The other option to drive almost a mile north on MLK to Interstate 10. Either way will cost you time you don’t really have.

Although I would guess infrastructure and workload plays some part in the reasons these trains get stacked up, the public frustration has merit. And while I applaud the city government for wanting to do something, I don’t know if writing tickets will cause the desired impact.

The fines are, according to The Examiner, are between $100 and $300. If fines from such tickets, come out of corporate pockets, what would one want to bet that the railroads would just as soon take the ticket and pay the fine? Whether there are some steeper fines for successive offenses, I don’t know. My guess would be no. So we are stuck back at square one.

Perhaps the fact that the city will encourage citizens to report train violations and instruct police to write tickets (I’m sure officers have a little discretion) after 10 years of virtual inaction could be seen as a start.

If people are serious about something being done about this problem then they, we, I, should hold the city’s feet to the fire. Hey, I’m being figurative here. The last thing I need is for some nut to actually hold city officials’ feet to the fire because “that guy on the eight feet deep (again with the feet) said so.” If increased citations don’t reasonably improve the situation then the council needs to see what they can do about it. Hopefully, if additional steps are necessary the city and the railroad should arrive at some kind of compromise.

We need our railroads and we need access between downtown and the rest of Beaumont. And something needs to happen fairly quick because like someone once said: “Time is moolah” or something trite like that.