Existential flux, meet a Texas whisky made in Canada

Alas, but I feel as if I have been bombarded with weapons of mass obfuscation. Exactly what state do I find myself in? The state of Confusion perhaps.

A short while ago I saw a bottle of Canadian whisky for sale called “Texas Crown.” It featured an old-timey oil derrick on its bottle and at the bottom said “Made in Canada.” Such a shock reminds me of a bit done long ago by the original Cajun man, Justin Wilson.

Wilson spoke of that “great Cajun sippin’ whisky what’s made in Tennessee: Jacques Danielle.”

But that is just a side issue for much more important matters are floating around in the ‘sphere somewhere out there. We will get it all figured out and when we do, we will have a drink (some Texas Crown Canadian Whisky perhaps), laugh and reminisce about the time ol’ Jim got shot out of a cannon and landed in Mr. Dorman’s hardware store, right in the nail bins. Yeeow.

Speaking of hardware, I feel I must leave with this mild, if now sallow, profundity brought about this afternoon by the key-making man at the super-duper hardware store:

While it might be apodeictic that it takes a village to raise a child, it takes but a solitary asshole to ruin one’s day.

Biggest bank failure ever. Oh well, don't worry. Be happy.


Hasta la vista, dinero!
Not much is going on in the world of high finance at 1:24 a.m. on Friday morning. That is except:

“JPMorgan Chase acquired the banking operations of Washington Mutual Bank in a transaction facilitated by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation,” according to the FDIC. Da de dum dum. Not much happening. It is only the largest bank failure in U.S. history. Oh well, time to go to bed and thank my lucky stars my money is (hopefully) protected by the FDIC.

Who's gonna make who like chicken fricassicassissy?


A lot of buzz has emerged recently over Sen. John McCain’s eye. Specifically, his eye is droopy or even partially closed. Perhaps McCain is just doing a Popeye imitation. After all McCain was a sailor man. (Or an officer, subtle difference if you are a former swabby like meself). So was McCain’s father and grandfather.

As for what in the heck is going on in Washington with the financial crisis which precipitated McCain’s proposal to postpone the debate, one needs a program to figure out the players and what they are doing. It looked like the Dems had some kind of proposal this morning. This afternoon when Obama and McCain came to town and met with Gee Dubya, it all went to s**t. Go figure.

Now if the whole dodge the debate in Mississippi tomorrow night turns out to be McCain or his handlers didn’t want him to appear with a bad-looking eye that wouldn’t be good. But I saw later pictures and his eye didn’t seem to be askew. Of course, he could have been shot up in the eye with some kind of drugs. Oooh, am I sinister or not?

McCain could have put his campaign on hold to go to Washington, presumably because of the financial crisis, for any number of reasons. He might have truly thought he should do something to help prevent the world from going into a financial panic. He could be afraid that he was going to be left on the floor with Obama wiping him up tomorrow night in Oxford. Then he could have been worried about his eye. I mean, Richard Nixon’s five o’clock shadow in his debate with John Kennedy was believed to have sunk his bid for president, that and the fact Nixon was just naturally creepy. Who knows?

I predict the big debate buzz phrase — provided McCain shows up tomorrow — “I yam what I yam” or “I goes swimmin’ with bow-legged women, I’m Popeye the Sailor Man. Toot toot.”

Name your terms: The 2008 Economic Whatzit

It is too early, I suppose, to glean a definitive name for the financial crisis we are currently undergoing in the U.S. of A. But in order to give you all a head start on a name for this hoo-hah, I thought I would provide some definitions to determine if what is transpiring meets some of the prequisites for certain types of economic events:

 

Panic — Or rather PANIC!!! Depending on the type and the severity of the panic, provided that doesn’t give birth to some oxymoron, then how the word should be displayed should just as logically seem as important as its definition. But as I always like to say: “What the hell do I know?”

 

 “A sudden, widespread fear of economic or market collapse, leading to massive bank deposit withdrawals and/or falling stock prices,” according to tradersfloor.com.

 

Depression Okay, I had to do a little visual pun with color, as in making “depression” blue. Get it? Since I sufer from depression and have been diagnosed, right or wrong, as having a narcissistic personality disorder I feel entitled to do that. But the Teachers Insurance and Annuity Assoc.-College Equities Retirement Fund (TIAA-CREF)  Web site defines depression in the economic sense as (drumroll please):

 

“Economic situation characterized by rising unemployment, an excess of supply over demand, deflation, reduced purchasing power, contraction of general business activity and public fear.”

 

Well, at least we haven’t reached deflation yet.

 

Recessionrecession —  Here we have a wealth of lexigraphy. Perhaps that is the reason — along with it almost requiring a recession to be over before one identifies it — that politicians and economists have had such a difficult time figuring out whether we are in one or not.

 

  “A period of general economic decline, part of the usual business cycle,” says the Australian Financial Review (afr.com ).

 

  “A stage of the business cycle in which economic activity is in slow decline. Recession usually follows a boom, and precedes a depression. It is characterized by rising unemployment and falling levels of output and investment,” according to International Profits Associates (IPA .)

 

  “As reflected in the gross national product, a decline in economic activity in at least two consecutive quarters,” that from Thrasher Capital.

 

 And, of course, as a rule (hard and fast one at that) I don’t read CosmoGirl, but …

 

  “A significant decline in economic growth that lasts six months or longer. It is usually marked by job layoffs, high unemployment, reductions in retail sales, and the slowing of housing and car markets. A recession is milder than a depression. An arduous or extremely long recession is referred to as an economic depression.”

 

A couple of days, two consecutive quarters, six months? Be there no doubt how hard it is to identify the kind of economic mess we are into at the moment. Although I do not know of the word being in any of the economic dictionaries or encyclopedias, I personally would choose to describe the crisis as just an old fashioned “s**tstorm.”

 

Being that as it may, I hope you all have brought your sturdy umbrellas.

More fiscal crisis news than you can shake a dollar bill at

Extra, Extra read all about it …

That great economic mind and expert on Russian affairs, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin warns the financial crisis could turn into another Great Depression if the government doesn’t do something. That certainly makes me feel better to know this.

Sen. Barack Obama is currently holding a news conference reacting to John McCain’s proposal that the presidential debate be put off so the senators can help deal with the nation’s fiscal mess. Obama sounds as if he would rather not postpone the debate. However, I think the campaigns — both campaigns, all campaigns — be postponed indefinitely. Let the candidates campaign from their front porches like in the olden days. That is, provided the candidates have a front porch. If they don’t, perhaps they can rent one.

Finally, I have a much clearer understanding now than earlier today of what the proposed bailout means to our country. The clarity came from none other than Sean (Mr. Excitement) Hannity. Riding back from the store this afternoon, I heard Hannity say that the $700 billion bailout is just an extension of the liberals’ vision of redistributing wealth. Yes, George W. “Gee Dubya” Bush, “Deadeye” Dick Cheney, Hank Paulson and all the White House gang, it turns out, are all a bunch of French-lovin’, Champagne-sippin’, Fellow-travelin’ socialists of the first order. Dang, I should have guessed it from the very start. Thanks for that insight Sean, ol’ buddy!