Eight Feet Deep

Were it not for the fact that sky-high gasoline prices are aggravating, then hearing the varying explanation and/or justification each day would be a laugh riot.

It would seem the price of oil would be a simple enough culprit for analysts to blame but the reasoning for why gasoline is at $4.009 per gallon goes way beyond any reason if you are to believe half the people interviewed in the news. And, just by the way, I don’t believe about half or more of what I hear about the rationalization for higher gasoline.

I have to give my local daily newspaper, the Beaumont Enterprise, credit for this article. They just quote those who are being affected by the steep prices rather than to let us cut through all the caca de vaca as to why the cost is so high.

What is really sad — especially of those who live on the Gulf Coast — is that we will have to worry both about hurricanes striking us this summer as well as the even greater gas spikes the storms inevitably will bring if a hurricane approaches even 5,000 miles away from an offshore drilling rig.

So what or who is really behind the gasoline prices besides the high cost of oil, speculators, excessive demand and short refining capacity? Here are a few of my guesses:

***Bill and Hillary Clinton, at least that is what the GOPs will claim along with blaming our black Irish presumptive Dem nominee Barack O’Bama.

***MobileExxon

***The Hair Club for Men

***Global Warming

***The Sicilians

***Godzilla

***El Nino

***La Nina

***Iran

***Iraq

***The Late Saddam Hussein

***Flipper

***Britney Spears

***Charlie Sheen

***Spam (Hormel)

***Spam (Computer)

***Gallagher

***Noxema

***Free Willy

And we could go on and on from here. Make up your own list. And feel free to put your name and mine up there. There is plenty of blame to go around, at least if you listen to the experts. It is enough to give one gas.

WebMD notes today that “Samonella Tomato Warning Expanded.” In addition to that being interesting if not disturbing news if you eat tomatoes, the headline would, as Dave Barry might point out, be a great name for a rock band. “Tainted Tomatoes,” part of another WebMD hed also would be a good rock band name.

Bizarre band names have become so commonplace that no one, except maybe Dave Barry, muses over them these days. I thought about that yesterday watching some documentary about Bellingham, Washington’s own Death Cab for Cutie. (I am typing this in the public library so if a blank appears before Cab it will mean the computer’s nanny censoring system has just kept that bad old word from appearing that means that state which is the opposite of life. Get it? If that word appears never mind!)

Now I don’t know very much about Cutie’s Cab other than via this explanation on Wikipedia which says the band takes its name from a song on a 1967 album by Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, which is a right interesting name in its self. But at least this explanation appears to indicate some type of meaning behind the name where some bands in days past apparently lacked meaning such as Strawberry Alarm Clock but not so as with Captain Beefhart.

Oh well, it is just good to know I can sit here at the computer in the library and completely waste an hour thinking about our wonderful culture. Kudos to Cutie for an intriguing name.

It’s a steamy Friday afternoon in Beaumont, Texas. Steamy it is because of little late Spring showers followed by Summer-like temperatures. It’s a downside to the “sub-tropical” life. But when it gets too steamy I just think about places like Minnesota, Massachusetts, Maine, you know, the “M” states, during January. I mean the very being of those states in January when it’s freezing-ass cold. I did not mean that those are only “M” states during January. That would be truly stupid.

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People have a tendency on Friday afternoons around here to get out and drive on busy streets like 11th Street and Calder Avenue and Phelan Boulevard. And they tend to drive slow and with great stupidity.

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I don’t give a rat’s ass if Hillary and Barack meet in private at Diane Feinstein’s house or at John McCain’s or at Dick Cheyney’s. Stupid is as stupid does. Isn’t that a stupid thing to say?

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Okay, I see things are rapidly getting negatively stupid so I am going to stick a fork in it for the weekend. Stick a fork into what, you may ask? That is fine. Go ahead and ask. I never promised you an answer, or a rose garden for that matter.

I just got back from McFaddin Beach and decided to check my e-mail. The beach was a nice respite from my city, where it seems you can’t walk down the street at night any longer without being stopped and questioned by the cops. It was funny how they let hordes of street people hang out yet threaten to take me to jail for walking while facing traffic in the wrong direction. I think some of these kids wearing police uniforms need to watch something other than “Cops.” And to think, I was even wearing a shirt.

So Barack it is.

Seeing an African-American as the probable Democratic nominee for president is not something I thought I would see in my lifetime. That is especially the case because I can still remember “Colored” water fountains and rest rooms in the hometown of my childhood.

Of course, I thought I would see a white woman nominated and even elected to the presidency. I did not think that woman would be Hillary Clinton.

As for Obama picking Hillary as his running mate, all I can say is in light of her RFK remarks recently: “Huh, are you f***ing nuts?” Or, to be more blunt: “Lyndon Baines Johnson.”

Actually I think Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb., would be a great choice for an Obama running mate. No kidding.

As I have mentioned before I respect and even like Sen. McCain but I don’t think he would be a very good president and I shudder to think what kind of a looney tunes running mate the GOP will force upon him.

This could be a very interesting presidential race or one that is really, really bad.