Eight Feet Deep

Tom we hardly
knew ya. In
fact, we didn’t
know you at all.
Who are you?

Someone named Gov. Tom Vilsack from some state named Iowa (Motto: Awoi was the second choice) will apparently drop out of the race for the Democratic nomination for president in 2008. It seems that this Vilsack is not able to raise the millions of dollars needed to make greedy television executives rich from 30-second campaign spots, so Vilsack has decided to quit while he’s behind.

Even though we are living in the comfort of our Toycoma on the streets of Beaumont, Texas, and are so poor that we can’t buy a skunk’s odor, we here at EFD have vowed to stay in the race for president until the end.

Why would we do that? Why would we trudge onward in a campaign that is darker than dark horse? Because we don’t care whether we are elected or not. We (EFD actually, as I am just the typist) feel it is important(or not) that our message of hope (or despair) is heard loudly (or maybe toned down a might) so that it (what?) may be heard worldwide (or by a couple of people or by the frightening but fenced-in German Shepherd at the garage down the street). Whomever.

We still can’t figure out all those federal election rules about funding. Therefore, EFD asks that donations for the campaign be sent by clicking the “donation” button to your right for our homelessness fund rather than our presidential campaign fund. No matter how optimistic one may be, and I may not be very optimistic, **you just can’t successfully run a nationwide campaign for president while living out of your pickup truck. So give to the EFD for Pres … oops. I mean give to the EFD homelessness fund. We promise the funds won’t be spent on alcoholic beverages. Well, maybe a drink or two. You know, a little wine is good for you. Most doctors and 9-out-of-10 winos say so, thus it must be true.

**Victor Morales ran a good campaign out of his little white truck during his race for U.S. Senate against Phil “I’m not a hick but I sound like one” Gramm. However, Morales didn’t have to live in his pickup and was not running for president. I rest my case because it is really tired and needs a nap.

A brief thought about a half-million dollars seems breathtaking, especially if you are living in your pickup truck, like I happen to be doing right now. But if you look at slightly more than a half-million dollars which are divided among five agencies helping the homeless and the other needy in a county of about 250,000 people, well that amount starts looking like chump change.

Nonetheless, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development doled out more than $560,000 in the 2006 Homeless Grants. Those amounts were among $1.4 billion in funding for more than 5,300 homeless programs nationwide, HUD announced today.

“These grants will support thousands of local programs that are on the front lines of helping those who might otherwise be living on our streets,” said HUD Secretary Alphonso “Action” Jackson. “Whether it’s a single man living with a mental illness or a family struggling to give their children a roof over their heads, this funding is quite literally saving lives.”

Or so we hope the funds are being used for those purposes. Some agencies receiving federal money squander the money sometimes for uses such as overhead and feeding the director’s pooch. But other agencies hold their operations together with string, duct tape and a prayer and still are able to deliver services to those people of whom Meester Secretary Jackon speaks. Those agencies awarded the HUD funding in the Beaumont area are:

Family Services of Southeast Texas Inc. — $150,977.00

Port Cities Rescue Mission Ministries — $175,037.00

Buckner Children and Family Services, Inc. — $35,016.00

Some Other Place, Inc.– $111,888.00

Triangle AIDS Network– $94,476.00

Of these agencies, I am most familiar with Some Other Place and I’m not totally sure of everything that they can do for homeless and other needy. I just know they have and continue to help me. And they seem to help those who need it while operating with less flash and more elbow grease than many other organizations serving the needy. Some Other Place, their soup kitchen and Uncle Henry’s, just down McFaddin Street from Some Other Place and the soup kitchen, depend most heavily on volunteers and donations from the public. So if you are in a position to help an organization, I would recommend Some Other Place in Beaumont as a good place to start. Like some great mind once said: “They’s good people.”

Of course, you also may help EFD by clicking the donation button to your right, unless you are in Australia and then the button will be most likely on … your right. And through the magic of the Internets, these transactions fly through the air with grace, ease and speed where the money ends up in something called PayPal, which pays me after the money is transferred to my bank. So there you have it. Just think how much richer you will feel knowing you helped me, or helped a worthwhile charity such as Some Other Place, or both. Yes, you can feel much richer by such acts, all while your riches dwindle in a minute fashion. It’s amazing how giving a little money away makes one feel. It makes this one feel wonderful, both to give and to receive. But don’t take my word for it.

My weekend was once again spent at McFaddin Beach on the uppermost Texas Gulf Coast. If you have to be homeless, there are many worse places you could find yourself. Only a few people populated the vast strip for the four or five miles of the beach past Sea Rim State Park. Thus, it was mostly quiet and the weather was very pleasant (although a bit windy.)

A secluded strech of beach such as McFaddin belongs to the people, so I would suppose that just for the weekend there I really did have a home.

I talked with an interesting German couple there on Sunday. They were walking the beach with their gigantic Newfoundland dog with the magnificently inapt name of “Weenie.” The huge canine ran up and licked my hand just as if I had been and old friend or new cat burglar. Uh oh. Andy Rooney moment. Did you ever wonder why there are cat burglars but no dog burglars? Sorry. I didn’t sleep too well last night and am a bit drowsy. So, I leave you be for a wonderful remainder of the day. Sleep tight and don’t let the cat burglars bite.

Gee Dubya does his Bill Clinton imitation by appearing before a group of African-Americans.

Allow me to escape the current misery in my life on the streets. What better way to forget about your personal problems than think about those of our country or world at large.

Our president, Mr. Gee Dubya, has said that all the talk concerning his hell-bent desire to attack Iran is just “noise.

So perhaps Compound Shrub Dubya isn’t doing all the talking about turning Iran into a pile of dust. But his surrogates are. It seems like each time you hear a Dubya Tru Bee Lever talking, the conversation gets around to those bad, bad Iranians. So they are supplying implements of destruction which may harm our troops? That’s not good, certainly. But it isn’t like the U.S. has never supplied weapons and other lethal hardware to warring countries. Sometimes that includes selling weapons to nations which eventually fight our own allies. Remember the Argentine cruiser the General Belgrano that a UK submarine sank during the Falklands War? Guess that ship’s name before it entered the service of the Argentine Navy? Give up? It was the U.S.S. Phoenix. U.S.S. meaning “United States Ship.”

This is not to say we should encourage Iran to supply products to kill our troops. These weapons should be stopped from entering Iraq. But let’s not use the weapons business as an excuse to declare war on Iran. That excuse would be just as flimsy as saying the U.S. invaded Iraq because Saddam Hussein had a s**t pile of weapons of mass destruction. And we surely wouldn’t unleash our military might on such lightweight excuses, would we?

Your kindness continues to roll in like a mighty tidal wave of love in my dark hours of homelessness.

The latest kind person is Bill Marbach of The Gourmet Kitchen based in Boca Raton, Fla., who has offered me a Thermos product of my choice to link to www.thermosonline.com. Here you are Bill, I’ve already sent you my preference for a product.

This is the type of compassion and display of love offerings via the “Internets” of which I hoped was out there. Among the items still needed to help me survive these cold, mean streets are 1)money 2)a job 3)more money 4) more jobs 5)an aged single-malt Scotch 6)Salma Hayek. Hey, a person can dream can’t they?

Great tidings of joy there brothers and sisters,
EFD