Ricky, you got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do

It had to come out sooner or later. I mentioned last week the rumors that were going around in media circles quite some years ago that Rick Perry was gay. I still don’t know. Like Seinfeld said in his classic “The Outing,”: “Not that there is anything wrong with that.”

If Perry and his folks were less full of themselves, they would make the Good Hair man’s life an open book. Every phone prank he ever made as a kid, each Prince Albert in a can of which he inquired, every time he showed up at his hometown Dairy Queen as a kid after swilling a couple of bottles of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill, every stupidity he committed while attending Texas A & M, each time he flew right when he should have flew left as an Air Force pilot, blab everything that might even close to being offensive to every American voter that he committed as a state legislator, lieutenant governor and governor, plead mercy with PETA for killing that coyote and above all apologize to the Texas State Trooper’s Assn., and every present and past state trooper for that “Get on down the road” thing.

In other words, Ricky, you got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do. And apologizing. But Good hair won’t do that. Like his predecessor, George “Gee Dubya” Bush, Rick can do no wrong.

We shall see what we shall see.