The ‘Good Party Man’ and why he should beat Rick Perry

 

There is plenty yet to be written about Gov. Good Hair Perry but I will say little about him today because there certainly is no shortage of words being written about him. — HA! I ended up writing more than 1,300 words here, sucka! — I won’t bet, although I will say at this point in time which is way too early to be talking about this, that Rick Perry will win the nomination. Not for president he won’t. He might get on the ticket as Veep candidate.

Look at the history of the Republican Party and you will see evidence of it nominating the so-called “good party man.” This is someone who pays his dues for years, and “don’t rock the boat” a lot. You see, the Republican Party wrote that song “Rock the Boat,” but it actually goes “rock the boat, don’t rock the boat baby, rock the boat, don’t turn the boat over … ” You remember it from the disco years by a band called the Hues Corporation.

The GOP believes, at least in theory, in laissez-faire. That is a French word, which in translation means: “Eat more frog legs.”

No seriously, in the Republican sense it applies to economics. Wikipedia describes the LF-word as “an environment in which transactions between private parties are free from state intervention, including restrictive regulations, taxes, tariffs and enforced monopolies.”

And so forth. Hey Brother Vonnegut, here’s to you man, wherever you may be hiding.

That reluctance to intervene does pretty much define the Republican species in any matter except intruding on an individual’s personal civil liberties and starting wars and just about anything else just as long as no one rocks the boat that the monied class be ridin’ upon. Sheet man, ain’t nothin’ but a thing.

Look at past Republican presidential nominees in the past 50 years and ye shall surely see:

Richard Nixon — Took a lot a crap in his rising political career leading up to his ascendency as Ike’s VP.

Barry Goldwater — Bless his old cactus-laden heart, he atoned in his later years but up to the point when he ran against LBJ he was a reactionary’s reactionary, thus just what the Republicans wanted during that period.

Richard Nixon — Ta da!! Mr. GOP until that little matter came along known as “Watergate.”

Gerald Ford — Jerry Ford was a fine man whom I now believe was right in pardoning Nixon. I also believe Nixon was not the most evil person to occupy the White House (See George W. Bush). Ford had been around for a quarter century in the U.S. House. He served eight years as Republican Minority Leader. He was even part of the famed “Warren Commission.” You couldn’t get more Republican than that! Ford was the only man who served both as vice president and president without having been elected to office. I can’t happen to think of a better person for the time and I will always respect Jerry Ford even though I didn’t agree with everything he did. Oh and he was one of my three Commander-in-Chiefs during my four years of the Navy. Is that a record, or what?

Ronald Reagan — He wasn’t every Republicans’ favorite and ran a testy primary campaign with George H.W. Bush. But by the time he got to the nomination stage at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, he was “Good Party Man” Reagan.

George H.W. Bush — I have said it before, I will say it again. No man was ever better qualified, in theory, for president of the U.S. of A. Navy pilot shot down in the Pacific. Oilman. Member of the U.S. House. Ambassador to the U.N. Envoy to China. CIA director. Chairman of the Republican National Committee. Banker. Professor. Think tank director. Man, no one was probably better prepared since maybe Andrew Jackson (‘cepting of course, Old Hickory wasn’t a Republican.)

Bob Dole — Say it as he says it “Bobdole.” Another endearing Republican. Catch ’em while you can, they’re fading fast. Dole was badly wounded in the Apennine Mountains of Italy in WWII. He recovered although his right arm was paralyzed. He became a lawyer after the war. He ran for the Kansas House. Was a county attorney. He spent eight years in the U.S. House. He spent nearly 30 years in the Senate where he served both as Senate Majority Leader and Minority Leader. Oh, he also served as RNC chairman.

George W. Bush — George was anomaly of sorts. He was elected twice as Texas governor — see Texas governors — but did have his dad G.H.W. and granddad, Prescott Bush, a high-powered Connecticut Yankee banker, and later U.S. Senator. I suppose you could call “Gee Dubya”  a “legacy” good party man.

John McCain — McCain, a son of a son of a sailor (and a son of a sailor), well there is a debate as to whether Navy officers are “sailors.” Actually, McCain was a III. Junior and Senior were admirals. McCain was shot down and spent five years as a POW held by the North Vietnamese and retired as a Navy captain. He spent a little time in the U.S. House and was elected to the Senate in 1987, where he remains today. He might have been elected president had not he chosen one of the least qualified vice presidential candidates (and that’s saying a lot) in history, part-term Alaska Gov. Sarah “Caribou Barbie” Palin. Nonetheless, McCain remains someone I still like and respect although he can be nuts sometimes.

So there you have it. The history of the GOP good party man probably goes back even farther, in fact, it does although a few flies show up in the ointment sometimes (See George W. Bush and Gen. Dwight David Eisenhower.) So at this early stage, it seems like Mitt Romney is the Republican good party man. And once again, should he be chosen and should he accept (right) he too will be a partial product of a legacy. His father, George Romney, was a former president of General Motors and was governor of Michigan. Romney Sr., also a Mormon, ran for the Republican nomination for president in 1968 even though he was born in the state of Chihuahua, Mexico. Although the Constitution states the president has to be a natural born citizen, Romney seemed to have found a loophole, according to Wikipedia:

“While the Constitution does provide that a president must be a natural born citizen, the first Congress of the United States in 1790 passed legislation stating: “The children of citizens of the United States that may be born beyond the sea, or outside the limits of the United States, shall be considered as natural-born citizens of the United States.” Romney and his family fled Mexico in 1912 prior to the Mexican revolution. However, the Naturalization Act of 1795 repealed the Act of 1790 and removed the language explicitly stating that the children of US citizens are natural-born citizens. As such, it is inconclusive whether Romney was eligible for the office of President.^”

Always, always remember it is Wikipedia you are reading my friends. It could be right, it could be wrong, it could be, well, it could be damn near anything. That’s what makes it Wikipedia!

McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone, as a military baby. President Obama was born in Hawaii, which was a state by the time he was born. Yet, only Obama was questioned as to his citizenship because his father was Kenyan and Babybama lived in Indonesia for awhile when he was a kid. Go figure.

Whew, that’s way more than I intended to go but by now you should get why I say Romney should get the nomination. That is, if the “good party man” theory which I learned from Dr. J. David Cox at Stephen F. Austin State University — a great Political Science professor in my mind — holds up these days.

In actuality, if this theory really held up, the GOP nomination would be U.S. Rep. Ron Paul. He’s been in politics since Cal Coolidge was a law clerk riding on the back of a jackass over the hills of Western Massachusetts looking for witnesses to depose. But no, Paul will actually end up becoming my congressman because of redistricting. Ain’t I the lucky one?