Author: Dick

As TS Dolly churns over the Southern Gulf of Mexico many of those of us who live on the Gulf coast keep a watchful eye on the storm to see if we need to start buying massive amounts of supplies at the last minute.

Each year I say I am going to assemble a hurricane kit and since going through two hurricanes in the last three years I still haven’t put such a kit together. I know I should possess at least some basic supplies, and I do. I have knives, tools, canned goods, a digital camera, somewhat operable laptop and power converters so I can operate these and other electronic products from my truck if necessary. Oh and flashlights. My late friend Waldo Miller, who thought you couldn’t have enough flashlights or that those lights could never be too enormous, would roll over in his grave if I didn’t have at least one Maglite around. Fortunately, I do.

The problem with hurricanes is that, although areas get plenty of early warning a storm is out and about, one doesn’t always have the certainty of if and when that storm will actually hit where the forecasters say it will hit.

Right now the National Hurricane Center puts the center of Dolly’s “3-Day Cone” of Guesstimation somewhere around Brownsville, Texas.

But when you start reading the language of the forecasters in their storm discussions, you see where they never seem to say things like: “It’s going to hit the Piggly Wiggly on Fourth and Main in Downtown La Feria, Texas, By God!” For instance, they say of Dolly today:

DOLLY IS STILL MOVING RATHER QUICKLY…300/16…TO THE SOUTH OF A
MID-LEVEL RIDGE OVER THE SOUTHEASTERN UNITED STATES. ALL OF THE
DYNAMICAL S FORECAST THIS RIDGE TO GRADUALLY WEAKEN DURING THE
NEXT FEW DAYS…RESULTING IN TRACK GUIDANCE SHOWING A SIGNIFICANT
SLOWING OF THE FORWARD MOTION AS THE CYCLONE PROCEEDS INTO THE
WESTERN GULF … THERE ARE VERY RELIABLE S ON BOTH SIDES OF THE OFFICIAL
TRACK…SO IT IS IMPORTANT NOT TO FOCUS ON THE EXACT LOCATION OF
LANDFALL IMPLIED BY THE OFFICIAL TRACK.

That’s right. Don’t EVEN focus on the exact location of landfall because it probably won’t fall where they say it will right now. Rita was first forecast for near this current area in which the storm supposedly will hit. Then they predicted around Corpus Christi, then Surfside, followed by Galveston. It actually made landfall between Cameron, La. and Sabine Pass, Texas. Granted Rita was on a much different track from Dolly, but the fact remains I woke up early that Thursday morning to the word of a mandatory evacuation from Jefferson County and left about 8 that night, a bit more than 24 hours before we got pounded with about the same intensity at the place where I evacuated to as from where I escaped.

So, just go with the flow. Don’t get too complacent until it’s way on shore and headed in the opposite direction from you. Oh, and good luck with having enough money for gas to get you out of town. This public service message was brought to you by your local chapter of the Pessimist Club, our motto being: “I would’ve gone to the meetings but I was afraid no one else would show up!”

These days I have not had an ample chance to read some of my fave blogs such as the always lively In the Pink Texas, jobsanger and Capitol Annex. Checking out Vince Leibowitz’ Capitol Annex today I found the interesting tidbit about which I had heard a little on radio news yesterday concerning East Texas chicken magnate Bo Pilgrim flying our pretty boy Texas governor Rick “Goodhair” Perry around.

Pilgrim, a drawling geezer who dresses in TV commercials wearing pilgrim getups, is of course no stranger to handing out his fiscal goodies to pols in order to curry favor. That is not to be confused with curry chicken for favors. This is the man who once doled out $10,000 checks on the floor of the Texas Capitol. He otherwise is always stirring something up to get his way as this old Austin weekly story tells.

Jobsanger also has an interesting post today about some right-wingers wanting anti-bullying laws beaten because bullies often target gays and lesbians. Go figure.

And since I mentioned In the Pink Texas, just check it out for GP. Eillen and her faithful readers always have something akin to madness which may tickle a liberal (or maybe an occasionally conservative) funny bone.

Just how gullible do you think I am?

Such a question should be asked of each American citizen before he or she enters a voting booth. Unfortunately, if that was a hard and fast rule our low voter turnout would be even more dismal. But maybe not because our fellow United Staters keep seeming to buy a pig in a poke — or a cat in the bag if you prefer — when it comes to picking their elected officials.

By and large, Americans can be pretty dupable. One only has to listen to the local news to hear of what new scam is being played upon otherwise unsuspecting, and most often elderly, citizens.

But others who know better but are hindered due to some chemical form of stupidity or the other and find themselves on the end of a trick that winds up putting money in others’ pockets. Probably the most memorable scam I can remember hearing people speak of is the great Angelina River jump that never was.

Now I wasn’t living in Nacogdoches, Texas, at the time this happened but according to local hippie/college-hangers-on lore, during the late 1970s a guy — I wish I could say his name but I am afraid if the guy actually exists he might see this one day and sue me — spread the word around town that he was going to jump the nearby Angelina River in his car.

The kind of car — be it a GTO or Nova or Gremlin or Pinto — escapes me as do other details. But this guy allegedly went around town telling folks about his proposed feat all of which was to take place during the era of the great daredevil exploits of Evil Knievel.

Apparently, this fellow collected money under the guise of building a ramp or perhaps it was for admission or whatever. Nonetheless, he supposedly collected some money and told the populace where to be and at what time for his great river jump.

As the story goes, the East Texas daredevil showed up at the appointed time and place, his breathless — well, probably more like beer breath — fans awaiting with eager anticipation. The backwoods Knievel told his audience: “Okay, let me just back up a little more so I can get a better start.”

So back the GTO or Nova or Pinto the driver did. And did some more. And some more. And more. More. And … You guessed it, the driver fled the scene leaving nothing but a dusty trail and a bunch of folks scratching their heads, saying: “Huh?” Reportedly, our daredevil scammer used the money he collected to buy a bunch of kegs for a party that night. The details start to get foggy as to whether any of those the daredevil took for a few bucks showed up at the guy’s party that night for repeated cups of Old Milwaukee and perhaps too open up a can of Whup Ass.

Thus one sees that if people can get excited enough to throw away good money on a good trick then they probably won’t worry much if they get fooled by what the candidate for president, county commissioner or dog catcher promises and will ultimately not deliver. So just a word of warning this election year. If a candidate comes to town to make a speech and then starts slowly backing up and up and up some more … I think I might consider voting for his or her opponent.

If I could trust that everyone would know what the saying: “Like a broken record” means then I might use that phrase to describe how Prez Gee Dubya sounds when he speaks of fixing the economic/oil crisis/thingy. Thingy. That’s a technical term meaning “something or other.”

But a lot of people probably have never seen a phonograph record which tends to “skip” and repeat what it’s playing when it is broke. Compact discs also do this — and quite remarkably — with what is an even more annoying effect than vinyl.

To get to the point, however, Bush repeats the same mantra the GOPs in Congress have chanted: “Drill more, drill offshore, drill more, drill offshore … ” And, oh yeah, let’s take out a few polar bears to drill in ANWR (pronounced Ann-WARR as in Sadat, kind of).

Now having a little mineral property that has been yielding very little wealth lately, I have no opposition to more domestic drilling or drilling offshore for that matter. What is kind of galling is that the oil companies already have shiploads of mineral rights in areas which can be drilled in such as off the Texas and Louisiana coast that are currently dormant exploration-wise.

And let us not forget that more drilling in offshore areas where exploration is now will not make gasoline decline to 99 cents per gallon anytime soon if Congress authorizes such action next week.

I guess Gee Dubya and his boys believe that if you say it enough times it will come true. Maybe I will give it a try.

A billion bucks. A billion bucks. A billion bucks. Catherine Zeta-Jones. A billion bucks …