What’s up? Nothing but the rent, where there is a rental

It’s time to let others do the writing this Friday. I am off to Dallas next week on a work-related trip. At least I will get to stay in a nice hotel. Not that it hasn’t been pleasant here where I have been temporarily staying. Hopefully, I will find somewhere to call home, as in a rental, when I return next weekend. Motels aren’t as cheap as they are portrayed, especially if you have to live in one. Hmmm, perhaps I will look tomorrow at once again putting up a PayPal widget for donations. Meanwhile, if you would like to donate just shoot me a line at eightfeetdeep and I will be happy to send you a mailing address. I will even send back a handwritten, autographed “thank you.” For now, here are some items you might find interesting. Or not.

Facebook: IPO? or IPo’ed?

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and sometimes you just show up — and get rich as the queen’s chocolate jewels.

From the land of fabric-free entertainment

And the mortician reported it took him six hours to remove the smile from the deceased’s face.

Yes, our future looks really … screwed

Those who read these words of wit

No two-headed coins now, boys

Texas council candidates put their conservatism where their pocket lint is.

Why you never see fat astronauts

Gene, Tom, you want my salmon salad? How about a hand wipe?

Think I’ll Watch “All My Children”

This man certainly does need a break. Or maybe a date with Lorena Bobbitt.

Have a fun-der-ful weekend.

 

 

Tales of a naked week, or more

This week showed that, once again, nakedness makes news.

Take the infamous Time magazine cover with the woman breastfeeding her 3-year-old son who was standing on a chair. By the way, that kid either looked kind of big or that woman wasn’t very tall. It made me wonder if she had some steroids packed in those things.

Then there was the naked man riding a unicycle on a bridge in Kemah, Texas. It was a nice touch, the unicycle. It could have been two naked folks riding on a bicycle built for two. But something odd like that is pretty much going to make the news in tandem with nudity. Nudity itself is usually newsworthy enough.

Just today, this morning, police in Bloomington, Ind., shot and wounded a naked man brandishing a 9-mm handgun. Police received a complaint that the nude gunman was firing shots at a house. Officers fired at the man, who allegedly pointed his gun at officers, striking him twice. The shooting happened near Indiana University.

This happened on May 1, but I thought I’d gratuitously throw it in. Police disarmed and arrested a naked 22-year-old woman wielding a knife outside her home on Orcas Island, Wash., according to the San Juan Journal (San Juan Islands, Wash., not Puerto Rico.) A neighbor reported the woman had been sitting nude inside her car acting strange, as if she was on drugs. Hmmm. Imagine that!

There you have it. Just remember to wear clean underwear in case you get arrested. Or perhaps, remember to wear underwear, period. Have a wonderfully, naked weekend.

 

 

A trade-off in today’s world is substituing one problem for another

It must be a law, as in that of gravity, when a solved problem results in a happy ending another problem pops from the wings to replace it.

For more than five years on my part-time job — funny it doesn’t feel part-time — I had to use the world’s slowest dial-up for the majority of my e-mail communication and for transmitting my work to our Washington offices. I harangued my supervisors for high-speed as much as possible without actually insulting them and when that didn’t work I tried finding solutions on my own.

Only a month ago and after a long battle with Verizon, I finally got an Internet connection that works without major interruptions. The device is a Verizon Jetpack, or MiFi, which is like having my own personal WiFi hotspot. The device can accommodate up to five computers. Since I can provide a secure connection with it I was able to use it for connecting my work computer, which often transmits and receives confidential material. I mean, it’s not plans for the A-bomb but it is nonetheless confidential and shouldn’t fall in the hands of those who have no business with that information.

Even though I have to pay for my MiFi and received no compensation for using it for work, I still used it on the job because it has provided many less fits and tantrums for all the problems caused by my dial up.

So wouldn’t you know it? I got settled in good using my MiFi for work and I finally get the storied Blackberry which was long alleged as headed our way at work as the answer to all our problems. We are using the Blackberry for communication — phone, text, e-mail, browsing and other applications such as GPS — as well as its use as a modem to transmit my data to the District of Confusion.

I like the Blackberry okay, so far, if I can ever learn to use it. We have a pretty fair deal hammered out by our union for its use such as the GPS can’t be used for tracking and the phones can’t be used for taking attendance. But did I say problems, still? Yes, there are a few.

First of all, unlike my trusty personal Verizon LG phone, the Blackberry has no inside keypad. There are a lot of shortcuts to learn otherwise you will be punching untold numbers of keys for “Alt” or “Shift” including punctuation and numbers. It has a ton of apps. Plus, the keys are too tiny. I have to get the password input several times between it and my work tablet/laptop when “tethering” the devices for modem usage. To combine my problem using the keypad is my benign essential tremors which sometimes are worse than others. I use my index finger a lot these days.

But the ‘berry has pretty decent speed.

Now I also have the problem of more hardware to tote around. I have a holster in which to carry my Blackberry and must also have a USB cable for tethering. No problem with the latter, I just stick it in the ever-filling computer bag. I also have my cell phone, my Blackberry, my computer, two chargers, not to mention my work laptop/tablet. No, make that three chargers. there is also a charger for the MiFi which is strangely enough identical to those for my two phones. All three work on all three devices, which is kind of amazing. It seems like for awhile every computer or electronic do-dad had a different charger, the better which the company could sell it to you.

My life has become like an ever-growing trade show of electronic crapola. I can remember back slightly more than 20 years ago when I didn’t even have a phone, of any kind, and no pager, nor even much of a TV. No cable. I used rabbit ears. I didn’t even have a clock radio, much less a boom box, or a stereo except for the radio and cassette player my car. I am thinking of when I first worked as a weekly newspaper editor and drove an almost 20-year-old BMW 2002. But no, I didn’t have a phone and I was editor of the paper. Hey, it was a small town.

Perhaps someday some gizmo will eliminate the need for a whole bunch more gizmos. I know there are companies that advertise some devices that are “all you ever need.” Yeah, right. In the meantime, I hear the phone ringing. Which one is it? Damn it!

Hunger: Two exclamation points for the price of a Lu Ann’s Platter

Food. That is what is on my mind brothers and sisters.

Eat up!

That is what I plan to do. Because I am hungry.

Never let writing stand in the way of hunger and vice versa. Food is a needed component of writing. Although, writing doesn’t need food to survive, the writer does. Put that in your computer and smoke it!

I should wear a sign: “Will work for exclamation points!!!!”

 

Much drama, yet it’s just another Friday storm

Dark clouds are gathering outside from the west. It really doesn’t matter from where the clouds are gathering if they happen to be gathering  somewhere inside. Holy moly! There’s a thunderstorm in the living room, Gladys! Whoops, your big ol’ pile of blue hair just went up into a cloud of smoke from that lightning strike.

Obviously it is better when the clouds stay in their place. So they come like angry neighbors ready to do battle over that fence your great-grandpa put up in ’08. That’s 1908.

It is 5:21 p.m. Central Standard Time and it looks like Dark-30 outside. I’ve been watching the Channel 11 KHOU-TV animated weather radar online and I can see a cluster of storms, one of which has just that teeniest-tiny area of violet inside, which can indicate a severe T-storm. This particular bunch is just a hair west of Beaumont. Right where I am at Ground Zero. Don’t you hate that term? The wind is whipping — whipping good — blowing rain and tree limbs to and fro. I am watching Channel 6 KFDM-TV in Beaumont on the tube, with the mute on I might add. It is nice to know I sit in a motel room only two buildings away the banality of the 5 o’clock show, which goes on with nary a hitch.

The real storm hasn’t arrived yet, according to the Houston radar which I just quickly flipped on for a look. Traffic looks kind of thick on the I-10 service road at 11th Street. I am glad I have nowhere to go.

Maybe this seems a bit dramatic, or perhaps I am making it a bit so. But it is just a spring storm in Southeast Texas on a Friday afternoon. Unless the storm, which the radar says is still just to the west of us, blows the roof off the place or some place else, all shall be just as it should be.

I really like, love even, the rain, the thunder, the lightning is even cool to watch. Especially since the drought is a non-hazardous storm welcome. Anything is cool as long as we can watch and don’t have to worry about seeking shelter.

Well, I think the storm is finally here. Happy weekend.