To make your silly season complete: Rick Santorum

Holy mackerel! Polls are showing a lead for GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum over Mitt Romney. What was it the Mayans said about 2012?

Santorum is really the cure for what ails the Republicans. The GOP expresses in the language of silly and Santorum is about as silly as a jackass wearing a sweater vest. Wait! That is Santorum wearing the sweater vest. Odd wardrobe choice, dude.

It’s not just that Santorum is an over-the-top theocrat, or that he practices politico-religious hypocrisy to the pinnacle. He is also just, well, strange. Watching Santorum is like looking at a man who feels uncomfortable with himself until he is set up to do what he was trained for over and over. Whatever that is beats me. He has communication skills or he wouldn’t have come this far but it seems he is worried every step he makes on the way to the podium is paved with elephant dung.

The trouble I see with Santorum is that he appears as a man poised between two cliffs. One is mountain of corporate corruption and political treachery, and the other is sanctimony and bigotry. But other than that, said Mrs. Lincoln, the play was just fine.

On the bright side, Santorium would make a great vice presidential candidate in the mold of Dan Quayle. Can you spell p-o-t-a-t-o? Santorum and Quayle could have been joined at the hip although a freak show would not be a lock-in to get the Republican elected president either.

The Democrats would definitely be handed a gift-wrapped early Christmas present if the President faced Santorum in the General. I just can’t see how Santorum could make it by the Democratic voter even with a strong GOP vice presidential candidate. But, never say never. The American electorate have made some goofy choices over the history of our nation. Why I am sure most of you remember Gee Dubya Bush don’t ya’ll?

This has been a pre-to-early primary season for the fortune of GOP candidates shooting up and down the political pike. It’s not over yet. We have a number of primaries to go, plus the General Election. We shall see a season of intrigue everywhere with Republicans finding an illegal alien with a fake ID card under every voting booth. Stay tuned for the silliest season yet!

 

A tale of two windbags

Newt got cold-cocked in last night’s debate. I was happy to see that even though I halfway hope he wins the nomination because I feel the whole universe would see just how despicable and ridiculous this whiter-than-white man really is. And of course, if you are expecting Newt to beat the incumbent president, you are three off-ramps past delusional.

Timothy Egan, political columnist for The New York Times, does a masterful job of “deconstructing a demagogue” which is Newt Gingrich. That Newt, what a piece of work.

Arizona guv: Tongue-wagging, finger-wagging windbag

How is that for a description of Jan Brewer and her encounter with POTUS after Air Force One landed outside Phoenix? The photo showing Brewer pointing her finger at Obama got a lot of words today and is apparently boosting her book sales. Obviously, a lot of drama queen exists inside the right-wing Arizona governor. First she told the media she was intimidated by Obama and later she chalked up the finger-pointing episode to her natural gesticulating.

Maybe the governor is just an animated person. But we’re talking the President of the United States here. Show some respect for office if not the man, for God’s sake!

There were a few times when, working as a reporter, I was within hearing distance — using the word “earshot” might get me a visit from the Men in Black — of President George W. Bush. Now if you read this blog with even slight regularity when Bush was in office, you will surely know I was not his biggest fan. That is really an understatement. Nevertheless, I once sat three rows behind him in a small chapel during an Easter service then I joined a hungry pack of reporters who gathered as he answered a few questions after the service. I never had the chance to ask him a question at the two or three times I covered press gatherings involving the president. (I did speak to him one-on-one before he was Texas governor.) If I had the opportunity I certainly would have asked him my question with respect. That is even though my basic instinct was wanting to shout the word “a**hole” at him.

Of course, there was my job — and future ones — that would have precluded me from shouting a dirty word at him. I guess you don’t have to worry about getting fired, for awhile at least, when you hold elective office. Even so, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, thus spake Aretha. It’s just common decency, manners. People don’t seem to care about that anymore, especially a lot of those who are so self-absorbed in their own business and private lives. Someone needs to send those people for a time out — like that baby in the E-trade commercials — without their computers or iPhones or Blackberry.

Governor Brewer, go to your room!

 

What the world needs now is another presidential debate like I need a hole in my head*

Whoever it was that is responsible for the mind-numbing numbers of “presidential debates” during the 2011-12 election years — the debates prior to the Commission for Presidential Debate ones — should be taken out and horse-whipped.

Yes, that is a very strong statement but the 27 or so debates among Republican candidates prior to the four debates this fall between President Obama and the GOP nominee have proven themselves as something to keep campaign dollars and the news media flying. Right now there are two, maybe three, more Republican candidates still running for the nomination than there should be and one has to imagine that wouldn’t be the case without the debates.

We are really getting nothing meaningful from the debates. Maybe some Republicans are and I agree I am not one of those. But if you have yet not had a chance to make up your mind who you want to be the GOP standard-bearer then you probably shouldn’t be voting. I would liken those who have seen these same clowns over and over and over and still haven’t decided who is preferential to people who stand for 10 minutes at the sandwich counter asking question after question without ordering. Is it that damn difficult to order a sandwich? Is it that hard to decide upon a Republican candidate for president? What do you have to decide? Is the (white) guy, yes guy, against all kind of taxes? Is he for prying into your private affairs? Then, hey, you got your candidate. Next!

Probably the best result of these debates, so far, was with what ease it took to see that our Texas Gov. Rick “Good Hair” Perry is about the biggest goof-o-ramus one could imagine. Though once again, I don’t see why it took as long as it did to see Perry is such a loser on the stage outside Texas.

And while Herman Cain was somewhat entertaining at times, it certainly wasn’t the debates which showed that he wasn’t a real choice.

Debates are only about one thing: Who can best debate under a given format. I’m no expert although I did debate in high school and was partnered up with an excellent debater who ended up excelling at the contest as a college debater. RIP Waldo, you ol’ master debater! One important lesson I learned debating was that you only are only as good as you are seen by those who judge you. Say what? If you play the game, you likely win. If you are inept at the game, like Rick Perry, you go home.

Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney do very well at the type of debate most seen on the recent televised debates. Rick Santorum and Ron Paul hold their own and often have their moments. These forums shown are not the so-called “policy debates” that have been contested in schools for years and the kind in which I participated. The policy debates stick to one topic for the year and debaters have to research and debate based upon the efficacy produced by that research combined with the ability to speak and think on one’s feet. The debates one sees on TV among candidates don’t even have a clear winner. They are “judged” by the hoots and cheers of an audience and/or the opinion of so many pundits.

Gingrich fancies himself as a great orator and debater. He said he plans to challenge Obama to a series of three-hour “Lincoln-Douglas” style debates if the GOP former speaker is nominated. The Lincoln-Douglas or (LD), named after the series of 1858 Illinois U.S. Senate debates between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas, are closer to the policy debates than the current TV debates though with certain differences. Either way, Gingrich has such an ego that he probably believes he could out-debate God Almighty. One with knowledge in debate or arguments could easily make a case why Obama, a constitutional law professor and attorney, might just wipe the floor with Gingrich.

Romney, who has proved no slouch at recent televised debates, mocked Gingrich for his attacks on the moderators and news media which has provided the former Georgia congressman and Speaker with loud cheers from the many conservatives in the debate crowds.

There are two reasons one doubts the probability of such debates. First, such LD debates would not be to the president’s advantage. Secondly,  he would face little, if any, risk in refusing an LD debate over a traditional TV debate. Finally and most importantly, it seems very unlikely Gingrich would win the nomination.

Presidential campaigns have played themselves out over the history of the United States for many years without resorting to so many useless, one-sided, debates for the Republican nomination. The seemingly endless number of televised debates, at its base, lacks a fundamental fairness in that examination of major issues are only studied and commented upon from one party’s point of view.

In the end, it might not make any difference. The GOP appears to be winding down as a race between Romney and Gingrich. It seems unrealistic to believe the Republican powers that be will let Gingrich become their nominee. Romney as the standard-bearer could very likely be a losing proposition. But there is little room for debate that Gingrich would make a successful presidential candidate.

*Headline with apologies to the great rock band Cracker.

Newt won S.C. but don’t count out Mitt “The Glove” Romney

Whoa! Stop the presses! U.S. Senator throws a hissy fit over normal TSA airport protocol.

That is for sure. Republican Sen. Rand Paul, Kentucky, was all tizzied out today after he was halted by airport security in Nashville. Reports indicate a scanner alarm activated when Paul, son of Republican presidential nominee candidate, Ron Paul, passed through. The TSA personnel told Paul he would have to be patted down before boarding his flight. Paul said no can do. He was allowed to go after awhile, but not without stirring up a bunch of hard-nose Republican bulls**t. You don’t want to fly by the rules, Sonny boy, then hitch a ride with a big rig. I’ve done it before. But I can’t for the life of me remember what the guy was hauling. Maybe it was Republican bulls**t, couldn’t tell. Personally, I’d probably be a little miffed if the TSA wanted to pat me down, then again, I’ve been searched before. It’s not the end of the world and the Constitution didn’t go up in flames.

Newty but not nice

We all got a chance to hear, yet once again, how smart Newt Gingrich is after his win in the South Carolina Republican Primary.  God that guy is a blowhard. The cable media — I was flipping between CNN and MSNBC for the short time I watched the S.C. coverage — was making the former Speaker’s win seem like the Second Coming. They have to do that, I suppose, to keep folks interested and sell that soap or shares of stock or Victoria Secret panties.

Gingrich was trying to sound all presidential during his however-the-hell-long-it-was speech after declaring himself winner. If everybody sits back and relaxes and takes a breath or two and reads this graphic from The New York Times then they might see that Gingrich is ahead in the delegate count by four. It might be fun to see the GOPs being forced into a brokered convention. Maybe Gingrich would win that way or even Santorum. But I doubt it. I still predict Mitt “The Glove” Romney. I think The Glove is a great nickname for Romney, a man who has perhaps even more of a bizarre moniker than Barack Obama. Actually, I think Obama is really black Irish.

When in doubt, punt

It is a good bet I will miss the Super Bowl unless it proves to show half-decent television commercials. The quality of the expensive Super Bowl ads has withered like cheap grapes over recent years. Likewise, I am less excited about the NY Giants matchup with New England than I am with the musical guest, Madonna. Like a virgin, but back when I was preoccupied with zits.

Yeah, I never wrote about the heartbreaking loss my team, the Texans, suffered against Baltimore. They really should have beaten the Ravens. Too many mistakes. That kind of stuff will happen to a rookie quarterback such as Tim Tebow T.J. Yates. Oh well, the Texans hadn’t been that far before so it was a great ride. Perhaps we shall see a better team and better fortune for Houston next year. Stranger things have happened.

 

Good Hair’s out. I’m sick.

Everybody and their dog, by now, likely knows Texas Gov. Rick “Good Hair” Perry has dropped out of the insane spectacle known as the race for the Republican presidential nomination. Perry has thrown his support to Newt Gingrich on the day the Newtered’s second wife is claiming the former House Speaker wanted an open marriage. Better Newt than later.

It still seems highly unlikely anyone except Mitt Romney will be anointed GOP nominee barring some otherworldly occurrence. Even so Gingrich seems least likely of any of this crop’s top candidates, present or past, to defeat Obama in the General Election.

Frankly, I don’t care at this point who gets the nomination. I do wonder what the return of Perry will mean for the Texas political landscape for the next several years. Will his fellow Texas Republicans in the Legislature pile on Perry, thus rendering a bigger freak show than it is already? Will Perry run again for governor? If so, would he win? These are questions more important at this point to me than why the governor dropped out of the race. We already know why he dropped out: Real people unlike those who voted continuously for him in Texas don’t buy his act. They realize what those of us who didn’t vote for him already knew–that he was an empty cowboy hat and boots.

The less I hear the name Rick Perry on the national scene, the happier I will be.

What I am unhappy  about is my stomach. The headline above, Perry’s out, I’m sick. Well, I’m certainly not sick Perry dropped out. No, I am feeling ill today because my tummy has taken me on an unpleasant ride, the destination of which has mainly been the bathroom. If that is TMI already, I’m sorry.

I have no idea what has upset the tank, but at this point, I only want the feelings which run from stormy to gut-punch to cease and desist. I’ve already switched my workday from today to tomorrow, thus ruining a three-day weekend. That’s kind of crappy, if you ask me. I’ll not remark upon the pun. Time for a nap.