Eight Feet Deep

A U.S. House panel last week heard testimony that the Department of Veterans Affairs and the Food and Drug Administration are having a failure to communicate. That actually sounds nicer than saying a lack of communication put veterans undergoing surgery at risk for diseases such as HIV and hepatitis or even worse. According to the press release from the House Veterans Affairs Committee:

“The hearing addressed several issues that together had suggested problems with VA health care quality assurance. In February, surgeons at the James A. Haley VA Medical Center (VAMC) in Tampa, Fla., implanted an unsterilized cranial plate in a patient and nearly duplicated the mistake a week later. In April, VA discovered that it was improperly cleaning and sterilizing prostate biopsy devices, called transrectal ultrasound transducers, at the Togus VAMC in Maine. According to Dr. James Bagian, VA’s chief patient safety officer, unclear labeling and confusing instruction manuals contributed to the errors with the transducers and cranial implants.”

Believe me, or not, the last thing one would want is some unsterilized transrectal something in their prostate much less an unsterilized anything in one’s cranium.

The “Ya think?” quote from that session is courtesy of U.S. Rep. Silvestre Reyes, D-Texas:

“Clear and unambiguous labeling of the sterility of medical implants should be mandatory,”” said Reyes. ““This would seem to be a necessary and fundamental procedure. Yet when senior physicians reach different conclusions about whether a medical implant is or is not sterile, or about the process to sterilize that implant, we have a problem. Hospital staff should not have to read the tiny print on the bottom of page three of instructions after a patient is prepared for surgery.”

And when I say: “Ya think?” I mean it in a good way. Huh?

Veterans who had the prostate procedure were supposedly sent letters warning them of “a small risk of exposing patients to Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C and the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV).” Out of the goodness of the hearts of the VA, patients who had the procedure can be tested for these diseases at no cost. Did you hear me? I said: “No cost.” Talk about a deal.

Look at the image in the upper right corner. Do you see that clump o’ aquamarine or blue or whatsit that obscures the the southern Texas and Louisiana border? You don’t? Well look again. Yes. That’s what I’m talking about. It is an image of the rain that has been hanging around here in Southeast Texas for hours and hours.

The rain has stopped here in Beaumont — for the time being at least. But it seemed as if it rained non-stop from midnight until about an hour ago. I can’t state that as fact. I just know that when I woke up a couple of times during the wee morning hours the rains were pouring. And the forecast doesn’t look good. No, I’m not talking about the official National Weather Service forecast. It isn’t so good either with an 80 percent chance of rain “coverage” as they say in these parts on TV. I refer to the squirrels’ forecast.

Yes the neighborhood squirrels must know something we don’t. And it’s freaking me out. There’s this one little squirrel out in the yard. It has a big, white clump of hair under its chin like a long beard. And that squirrel has built a little boat. The other squirrels and all sorts of other small animals are lining up two-by-two walking up the gang plank. I saw a couple of roaches, some ants, a couple of grackles, at least one Gopher dressed in white. It’s just a steady stream. Looks like Noah the Squirrel and his little friends are getting set to sail away on … The Animal Love Boat! Yes, my friends, The Love Boat, soon will be making another run. The Love Boat promises something for everyone. Set a course for adventure, Your mind on a new romance …

I think I need a padded cell.

John Wilkes Booth

You know you’ve made it as a famed serial killer or assassin when you are referred to by your full name. For instance:

John Wilkes Booth — killed Lincoln
Lee Harvey Oswald — (may have)killed John F. Kennedy
Sirhan Bishara Sirhan — killed Robert Kennedy
James Earl Ray — (probably) killed Dr. Martin Luther King
John Warnock Hinkley — (okay, Warnock is not used all that much) shot and wounded Ronald Reagan
John Wayne Gacy — the clown who was a serial killer
Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer — serial killer/cannibal (Lionel isn’t used that much either in referring to the late Mr.Dahmer)

I could go on. Henry Lee Lucas, Jack the Ripper, etc. You get the picture. Or you should get the picture, for heaven’s sake. The reason I bring this up is because I noticed today the Beltway Snipers being referred to by their full names: Lee Boyd Malvo and John Allen Muhammad. Perhaps they were always referred to by their full names. That just shows you how observant I am. It seems that the Beltway Boyz may may have also killed some other people including a man in Denton County, located in North Central Texas.

But the point here is that a definite relationship exists between all these bad people and the use of their full names. It is okay for your mother to use your entire name when she scolds you. That is expected. But if someone else uses your full name, watch out. You might just be a serial killer/assassin/cannibal.

Actually, as someone who once dabbled in journalism, I think the practice of using a criminal or suspected criminal’s entire name is done in order that he or she is fully identified. For instance, say your name is John William Gacy but you go by John Gacy. Well, you might be pretty pissed if all of a sudden you see in print that you were a clown who killed a bunch of people and buried them in the crawl space under your house. You would probably call up that reporter and tell him or her what a
f#%*!@$ a^*##!$ they were. So I would think that probably explains the practice of using the full name.

Just the same, if someone starts using your full name all the time , I think you ought to be more than a little concerned.

What the **** ? you might ask of the odd photo posted here. It does look rather strange I have to admit. It is a photo of my bathroom ceiling which seems on the verge of bursting and creating my own little lake inside as it continues to rain outside. The leak is directly over the edge of my bathtub so I have to place a bucket precariously on top of the tub’s edge to catch the drip. The bucket has already fallen once. Luckily, it fell into the bathtub.

Even worse is the drip, drip, drip, drip … Closing the door has muffled the sound somewhat. But still it goes drip, drip, drip …

My landlord said one of my neighbors had complained about a leak in his apartment last week. A roof expert was sent on top of the building but nothing was found. Of course, it takes very little for a leak to develop. I know this because at my last full-time job, the roof leaked just about the entire seven years I was there. The building was given a new roof, but still I would have to place a trash can on my desk when a downpour took place. I said the situation reminded me of the old “Snuffy Smith” cartoon in which buckets were placed all over the Smith household because the worthless, lazy, moonshine-drinking, gambling, chicken thief Snuffy wouldn’t fix the roof. I’ll just leave it at that, okay?

Perhaps I will post another photo when the bathroom ceiling collapses. Hopefully, I won’t be in there when it happens. Until then … drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, …

A picture of yours truly after waiting for phone calls.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate waiting on phone calls? I’m sure I have. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I am trying to put together a freelance project so I can make some money, eat, live, etc., you know? I started making calls yesterday. I called the Coast Guard. They had not called me back by this morning so I called again. They said they were working on my inquiry. I made three other calls this morning. No one has returned my calls.

Sometimes it seems as if people are conspiring against me to not return my calls because they know how much I hate waiting. I know that sounds paranoid (Does it sound paranoid? Is someone saying I’m paranoid?) But really it is odd how you can make tons of calls and no one calls you back, or they call you back all at once. I’m dealing with forces beyond my control here.

Maybe I need a new profession. Perhaps I will open a lemonade stand. I believe I can give the little kid down the street a run for his money.