Eight Feet Deep

Photographers seem more interested in John Roberts (sitting at right), before his Supreme Court confirmation, than Sen. John Cornyn proving life just isn’t fair.

Someone once said that if hypocrisy was illegal, then most of Washington, D.C., would be locked up. Be that as it may U.S. Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, has an interesting Web site. No it’s not his normal Senate Web site but rather a version of his Web site en Espanol. This Spanish version Web site gives the junior Texas senator a way to explain issues such as his recent vote against the Senate immigration reform bill:

“Declaracion De Cornyn Sobre Promulgacion De Propuesta De Inmigracion En El Senado:
Yo sigo comprometido a lograr una reforma comprensiva, pero no puedo apoyar una propuesta con tantas fallas,’” dice Cornyn

Or, in English, Cornyn says the bill is flawed.

A case could be made for the political necessity of having bilingual Web sites when the state you represent is 32 percent Hispanic. However, Cornyn has hardly been a promoter of English as a second language:

“People should come to America and be American and learn English. And they can’t do it if people live as though they’re part of a subculture,” said Cornyn.

You may agree with some of that, all of that or none of that. Cornyn did vote recently for the provision that English should be the national language. So does his Web sites in Spanish and English constitute hypocrisy, political genius, political necessity or all or none of the above? I don’t want to be sued by Fox News so instead of saying ‘I report, you decide,’ I’ll say: I tell you about it, you figure it out.

Scientists have discovered what I have long suspected: Beer is good for you. At least the compound xanthohumol that is found in hops, a beer ingredient, is useful in fighting prostate cancer. The problem is you would have to drink 17 beers daily for the cancer-fighting protein to do its work. And why is that a problem?

Alcohol has long been touted as good for what ails you. The Bible tells you so:

“Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities.” — 1 Timothy 5:23

My doctor even suggested I drink a little red wine to help lower cholesterol and I have been pretty well following his advice since he told me. I don’t think it will be very long until science finally proves correct some of my other theories that certain substances generally known to be hazardous can be helpful. We may see these headlines in the future, for instance:

“Scientists find lard prevents skin cancer.”
“Researchers discover whisky, rare beef and smoking contributes to longevity.”
“Severe head trauma enhances the quality of life, doctors say.”
“Study says sexually-transmitted diseases improve depth perception.”

And finally:

“Death no longer carries social stigma it once had, says prominent psychologist.”

One would think that by the title of this post I would be writing something about a gorilla. Actually, the title (for those of you who don’t know)comes from Warren Zevon’s 80s album called “Bad Luck Streak in Dancing School.”

“Gorilla You’re a Desperado,” is actually a catchy song about the superficial life in Los Angeles circa the 80s. The big gorilla in the LA Zoo, snatches the glasses off the singer’s face, steals the keys to his BMW and leaves him there to take his place. And it goes from there. Whatever that means.

But the bad luck streak is really the focus of my attention. A friend took me to lunch yesterday and I suggested to her that perhaps there are just certain common time periods in our lives and those of our friends in which some aspects of life truly sucks.

What had started the conversation was talking about the news I had received about my friend, Nick in Arkansas, having a major heart attack. His affliction is just one in a number of problems plaguing assorted friends, family and myself this year. Sigh, and I had such high hopes for 2006 but it really has been a major disappointment. By the way, Suzie, Nick’s wife and also my longtime friend, e-mailed me today that Nick is back home recovering sufficiently so he can have bypass surgery in about five weeks. My thoughts are certainly with my friends, needless to say.

It really is difficult to examine thoughts about what is random and what isn’t, what is fate, what is luck, what is karma and why does life suck during the particular times that it does? Perhaps having a strong faith helps make sense of it. I don’t know because, while I have my own peculiar spirituality, I am not particularly “faithful” in the theological sense.

I sincerely hope things get better for my friends, family and myself, because I certainly get weary hearing that giant sucking sound that masquerades as life.

Gaggle
Main Entry: gag·gle
Pronunciation: ‘ga-g&l
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English gagyll, from gagelen to cackle
1 : FLOCK; especially : a flock of geese when not in flight
2 : AGGREGATION, CLUSTER; a gaggle of reporters and photographers

“And it was here that the Doughboy surrendered to Special Forces soldiers … “

Intelligence gained from the raid that killed Abu Musab al-Zarqawi led U.S. Special Forces on Friday to capture the wanted terrorist known as the Pillsbury Doughboy. The Army’s super-secret Delta Force raided a village outside Baghdad and found Doughboy inside a shack hiding out with some local baqlawa, described by an Army spokesman as the Iraqi equivalent of a baklava.

The doughboy came out with his hands up, letting loose a very robust: “Hee-hee.” He surrendered to the Special Force unit without incident. Army officials say the doughboy is being examined by doctors prior to his being transferred to prison. He is thought to be suffering from hardening due to his time in the Iraqi sun.