Category: Orphans

Local media outlets are reporting that Sen. Barack Obama will be campaigning here in Beaumont, Texas, on Thursday. As I have noted here before, that is likely to create quite a stir in our fair town, provided he doesn’t get mugged on his way to speak. Only kidding. We have a nice city here with only a few crackheads and ne’er-do-wells as in every city.

Thursday is not a work day for me, at least not in my part-time government job. My writing biz hasn’t been exactly setting the world on fire lately either. But that’s another story. So I perhaps will go check out what Obama has to say if it isn’t too much of a hassle. I hate to be that way but after all, I am an old fart and hate being jostled ’round by a bunch of crazed partisans of any ilk. Hey, it would be the same if some performer was playing somewhere near here for free. I could handle those mob scenes in my younger days of laying about with thousands of drunk and stoned people watching ZZ Top or Bob Seger or whomever was getting down those days. But such spectacles don’t excite me enough nowadays for all the discomfort. And a politician? I don’t think so. But I might still go. We shall see.

Well, that headline is a bit overstated I think. But to be certain, some enthusiasm over the Democratic race for presidential nominee is beginning to gather steam in what has been a sullen Republican Texas since Gee Dubya and his pet rock Turd Blossom made their failed attempt to build a Republican world.

Today, folks lined up outside the old Jefferson Theater here in Beaumont to await the arrival of Michelle Obama. The Jefferson probably hasn’t seen that kind of excitement since Paula Zahn held the racial forum there live on CNN.

The local Beaumont Enterprise gave an update on its Web site every 15-20 minutes or so chronicling Ms. Obama’s process:

11:30 AM: Doors open, crowd files into Jefferson Theatre as they await arrival of Michelle Obama

12:15 PM: Rally begins and Michelle Obama’s arrival is imminent, security says

Hmm. Imminent sounds like the crowd were waiting on a flood or hurricane.

12:45 PM: Michelle Obama tells crowd “Yes we can”

Somewhere someone yells: “No we can’t!”

1:25 PM: Obama talks of reaching an ever-shifting bar, health care and hope for future

The coverage is a bit much, seemingly trying to manufacture excitement, but that’s a newspaper for you this day and age. Nonetheless, I would rather see the Enterprise overplay it than leave the story half-cooked.

So far Bill has been here campaigning and now Michelle. If Hillary and Barack make it to the “Golden Triangle” of Beaumont, Port Arthur and Orange, Texas I think one will see some excited Democrats.

It seems like the 2008 presidential campaign has been going on forever. It feels like the Bush-Kerry election never happened. No swiftboating, no me standing out in the hot Central Texas sun as former Georgia Democratic Sen. Max Cleland asked the cops at the gate of Gee Dubya’s ranch to deliver a letter to the president. The letter, if I recall correctly, asked Bush to repudiate the swiftboating campaign against Kerry. But no, none of that ever happened. Gore got himself unelected and all of a sudden every able-bodied member of the Democratic Party and even the unable-bodied members of the Republican party decided to run for president in the 2008 election.

And now the smearing is gone into warp drive. People are all atwitter (hmmm) over an alleged affair that happened a few years back between a lobbyist and John McCain. Oh come on guys, you can do better than that.

I am sure someone, Limberger or Hannity the Prince of Darkness or Ann the Ghoul Coulter will blame Billary for the mishap today that took the life of a Dallas police officer who was escorting Sen. Clinton’s motorcade.

Surely the smearing of the presidential candidates will get nastier and sillier as the two party picks — McCain and Clinton O’Bama — begin the real campaign in Ernest. Yes, Ernest perhaps in Nevada or one of those “N” states. Heaven forbid I would use the word earnest when Ernest, which is long for Ernie, will suffice. But mark my words the mud will fly with the revelations that Hillary is really Bill. Obama is Swahili for Lucifer. McCain is actually and stuffed.

That’s right friends and neighbors, prepare yourself ’cause the worst is yet to come. Politics, only dogfighting is more gruesome.

An interesting little time-waster found its way to me via e-mail this morning. Jon Rubenstein of the comparison shopping site PriceGrabber.com — and who actually has read my blog — noted in his e-mail that the site added a new feature which lets people do comparison shopping for their favored presidential candidate.

John said one feature of PriceGrabber’s Election Guide is “a Candidate Match survey, in which voters choose their stances on the issues, and PriceGrabber matches the candidate that best represents the voters’ views.”

After completing the survey and looking at the results, I must say I was a little surprised that the candidate matching my views the most were, in this order:

1. Hillary
2. Barack
3. Mike Gravel
4. John McCain
5. Ron Paul
6. Mike Huckabee

I realize, of course, that the survey is issues-based and are written without a lot of wiggle room. But to think I might even consider Mike Huckabee (or the sometimes-flaky Ron Paul) just leaves me shaking my head in awe.

I have not yet checked out the rest of the site, but will. Nonetheless, I thought I’d give Jon’s company and the election feature a plug — especially since Jon agrees with me that Festivus should be made an official holiday. So have fun with the election tool, be amazed, be the life of the party, make a drinking game out of it. Cheers!

For some reason or the other I thought Bill Clinton was coming to our fair town yesterday. Instead, he is here right now. Or, rather, he was just speaking across the street from the Beaumont (Texas) Public Library where I now type this. I hadn’t intended to see Bill. But walking up to the library I saw a big crowd and a few of the local TV satellite trucks with their antennae up. And I heard the unmistakable omnipresent hoarse voice of Mr. Bill, so I said: “What the hay?”

I didn’t hear Bill speak for very long. In fact, the best I could make out of his message was that we should all vote for Billary, er, Hillary. And I suspect that would have been his whole message no matter how long I had been there.

Although I don’t loathe Bill Clinton like some I don’t particularly care much for him either. That is mostly because “Sleaze” seems to be part of his political personna. But he is a very charismatic man who happens to have been elected twice as president of our country. So, in the words of someone, somewhere: “That’s something.”

Also, it’s kind of nice taking a walk in your fair city and seeing a major historical/political figure speaking somewhat unexpectedly and having the ability to take it in. Somehow that is my ideal of our democratic system of government. Whether it has anything to do with reality or not is a horse of a different color.