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The GOP debate. For better and worse.

Who’d have thought that me, myself and I would all sit back last night and watch one of the millions of debates scheduled this year of the folks seeking the Republican nomination for president? Nothing to do, for sure? Well, it was a little political entertainment until the series finale of “Rescue Me” started. Oh, and it was a fine end to a fine series for Denis Leary and the gang.

No, actually I watched most of it because it is the only game in town right now. Even though our own Gov. Goodhair Rick Perry, touted war and fide as “the flavor of the week,” having the lock on the nomination, that’s still a little while off. We’re talking a few days short of a year away from Tampa where probably some of the silliest people in the world doing the silliest things and talking silly s**t will gather and crown whomever it was who had the lock for several months before.

Gov. Goodhair did not look indestructible last night. He and Mitt Romney seemed to crowd out the others but if the vote for debate winner last night was between the two candidates — and sadly it was — Mittens emerging the clear winner.

Here is my “Not close to best” to worst list:

1. Gov. Mitt “Mittens” Romney. He had a very good grasp on his idea of the issues. He was also able to fend off most cuts by the rest of the bunch. Unfortunately, he came off like some sort of Mormon robot called “Mr. Personality,” You know, in the same ilk as calling Yao Ming “Tiny.”

2. Gov. Rick “Goodhair” Perry. I have seen this guy way too many times although never in such a forum. He did a mostly good job of trying to convince the crowd and his opponents that he does not have transparent skin. He continues to make so many false claims, such as his boasting responsibility for the stellar job creation in Texas, that continue to go unabated. I guess you did have to give the duo of Romney and Richie Rich Jon Huntsman credit for pointing out their state’s job growth equaled or bettered Perry’s. All in all, Goodhair came off like the “Return of the Shrubman (Gee Dubya).”

3. Gov. Jon “Richie Rich” Huntsman. I had to give him some nickname and he is rich with wealth which runs in the family. He was the only candidate, at least in my not-so-humble opinion, with more sentences which made sense than the others. When I say “make sense” I speak both in diction and substance. That isn’t to say I’d vote for him. No way. I’m not one of those. (Republicans) Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

4. Rep. Michelle “Ma” Bachmann. Congresswoman Bachmann, remarkably, said little compared with the others. And what she said was not crazy rhetoric, she’s been getting a little somewhere by not whining her insane ideas and opinions. Perhaps during the next debate she might should say nothing at all. That could make her a winner.

5. Congressman Ron “Earth-to-Utopia” Paul. I called his office this afternoon. I just wanted to hear it from his folks that the Utopian Libertarian Ron Paul will be my congressman come Jan. 1. Good God Gertie what a grasshopper! But Paul said he will not seek another term after than. So we have him for, what, a year? We also are getting rid of “God and Texas Ted Poe.” That’s how he signs his mass e-mailings. I mean, how full of himself can one be? Well, with Poe, we’re talking a lot.

I don’t have a lot to argue with Ron Paul were his rants based in something other than a fairy tale Never Never Land. While Mittens and the others preach free market economics, Paul believes it. That, in itself, is all right. But very, very little of transforming his beliefs into reality is possible with our system of government. I can’t understand why he is congressman. It will be interesting to see him in (in)action when he is my congressman.

6. Herman “The Godfather of Pizza” Cain, savior of Godfather’s Pizza, was the one candidate to bring a couple of snappy PR ideas to the party. There was 9-9-9, a plan to do away with the payroll tax and enact flat individual, business and national sales taxes each at 9 percent. The other idea was to adopt Chile’s model of Social Security, which probably means taking the elderly out to be executed. No that’s not it. Read here. The truth is, if Barack Obama is not re-elected, you will likely not see anyone with dark skin (other than a nice tan) elected president for a long time. Too bad Cain is an African-American during this particular election.

7. Rick “Man on Dog“ Santorum. Rick didn’t say too much. Thus, he didn’t say too many things which were ridiculous and sanctimonious. He actually had a good debate due to his lack of speaking.

8. Newt “Eye of the Newt” Gingrich. The former Speaker of the House has seen his presidential bid sputter to just about nothing. In fact, I didn’t know he was still running for president. The only remark Gingrich made that was notable was his blaming the media for attempting to push Republicans toward emasculaitng one another.  I’d have loved to see that! It was a gratuitous, inane comment. Gingrich needs a nap.

 

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I can’t drive 65

If you find yourself on a Texas highway this evening, the night of Sept. 1, 2011, or afterwards, feel free to drive 70 mph if you see one of those signs which indicate a day speed of 70 mph and 65 mph at night.

Well, hell, you would do that anyway. People tend to drive at least 5 mph over the speed limit, and then some. So go ahead and drive 70, or 75. That is because tonight the official posted speed of 65 mph is a relic of the conservation past.

Our Texas Legislature, in their infinite wisdom (that’s a joke, son!), passed a law during the last regular session that:

”  … eliminates the 65-mile per hour nighttime speed limit and all truck speed limits,” says the Texas Department of Transportation, a.k.a. TxDOT (pronounced th hi’-way de-part-ment Tex-dot.) “On September 1, the existing nighttime and truck speed limits are repealed and no longer enforceable.”

No more 65 at night. What will they do with all the old signs?

That doesn’t mean you should get all indignant and up into the face of a big ol’ cop named “Billy Bob ‘Bubba’ Hayseed.” Says our local PR flak for the Beaumont district of TxDOT:

“I wouldn’t take my chances with someone just itching to write you a ticket for the sake of giving you a hard time,” said Marc Shepherd, TxDOT public information officer. “Of course, most, if not all law enforcement agencies know about the new law and the fact a ticket probably wouldn’t stick.  I’ll leave that up to you, your lawyer and the judge.”

That same law also allows the state to create a 75-mph speed limit provided the highway has undergone a study and is ruled “reasonable and safe.” This is not supposed to happen over night either. But once again, since most motorists driving 70 mph already drive 75 anyway it just cuts down the quasi-legality of an 80-mph speed limit on that highway.

I am not an attorney, nor do I play one on TV, so the information I present herein should not be considered legal advice nor a suggestion that the reader should break the traffic laws of this or any other state, territorial, federal, local or international government, nor any principality ruled by a monarch named “Marvin the Prince of Sales.”

Speed limits have gone all over the place since I started legally driving almost 40 years ago. The maximum day-time speed was 70 mph in Texas when I first received my driver’s license.  Then about three years or so later, just about the time I was of the age of being in a hurry to get somewhere, the national speed limit was changed to 55 mph. This was done in order to conserve gasoline but it did little good because the majority of the public — more than 80 percent of Texas drivers on interstate highways in one state highway department survey — drove faster than 55.

Frustration over such a slow speed eventually reached the boiling point and prompted rocker Sammy Hagar to record his hit “I Can’t Drive 55” in 1984.

Then sometime while I was sleeping, around 1995, the 55 mph speed limit was repealed. Once again speed limits including those in Texas increased and drivers could legally drive like a bat out of hell once more.

It was probably just before the speeds were increased from the lunatic 55 mph limit since I last drove out to West Texas. I can’t remember what the speed limit was then to tell you the truth. But now, in some of the desolate counties on Interstate 10 between El Paso and San Antonio, one may drive Mach 1 80 mph.

I am sure some folks, maybe some of those who believe we should have little or no government, would be happy with no speed limit. We could motor around in a “survival of the fastest” mode. I don’t like that idea very much though. It is kind of exhilarating to drive a car at speeds of more than 100 mph, even more than 135 mph. I think that is my fastest and it was while driving a car with a police interceptor package. But I have a comfort zone and, depending on the highway and the circumstances, it’s usually less than 75 mph.

Yes, I have finally become one of those “old coots” who drive slowly and impede the progress of drivers behind me. That’s all the while I am driving 75, which — for the time being at least until the studies are completed — is 5 mph over the speed limit. So just lead, follow or get the hell out of my way!

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Read my true confession on why Perry is still a candidate. Plus a link to Gov. Perry’s french cuffs from Al Jazeera

It is not often that I link to an article on the Al Jazeera online outlet. It’s not that I don’t believe that they shouldn’t have a right to run news with whatever spin they would like. After all, I even link to Faux News every now and then even though I think what emanates from there is straight from the Devil’s ear.

The Al Jazeera article in question is titled: “Beware of Rick Perry, the French cuff cowboy.” That was plenty to grab my attention then after a read and finding lines like: ” He possesses slightly less gravitas than a half-eaten bowl of chili,” made me believe that this writer speaks a lot of what, at least I think, is the truth. The piece is written, by the way, not by some wild-eyed, Caliphate-espousing jihadist wrapped in a dynamite sandwich but instead is by a very entertaining and thoughtful liberal, or progressive, named Cliff Schecter.

I will let you draw your own conclusions which, if you are for Perry you probably won’t like what you read. As well I think back to a time when, perhaps, we wouldn’t even had to worry about this prospect of … I’m sorry I just can’t bear to think of it or write it in print … you know, the office that Perry seeks … had I been more insistent.

Sometime back after the war had been going for awhile in Afghanistan and Iraq I was assigned to write about President Bush on one of the several visits of his I covered at Fort Hood. As is always the case with, Bush, hell, all presidents, a little scene was set up in a particular area which if I remember correctly was assigned to the 4th Infantry Division. That division was supposed to have spearheaded the assault on Iraq from an invasion based in Turkey. However, Turkish officials refused to allow the division’s equipment to be deployed from there and ships carrying the tanks and other war material floated around for some time.

The division finally made it to war even though their leader, Gen. Ray Odierno, received a lot of criticism for what many saw as “heavy-handed tactics” once they made it to Iraq. Apparently somebody loves him though. He will be the next Army Chief of Staff.

At this set-up area in which Bush was supposed to speak were various staged tanks, Bradley Fighting Vehicles and other tools of war. Gov. Rick Perry showed up early in his black Suburban or whatever it was along with his Texas State Trooper plainclothes security men with their little earphones and dark glasses.

I can’t remember the PR flak who was there for Perry. He was not the head honcho but was one of the several people who were Perry “spokesmen” or “spokeswomen” at the time. We had a little time to kill so I observed Gov. Good Hair going around and inspecting all the equipment, looking like a little kid in a candy store. Of course, I couldn’t blame him. I like big machines, especially those that launch things which go “boom.” Several years before that I did a piece on new versions of Bradleys and the Abrams battle tanks that the 4th ID had just received. I was in much better shape then and they let me crawl inside both types of machines and look around at the consoles where missiles and guns cold be fired as well as where people rode in close quarters. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t let me drive one or — quite to my disappointment — fire off one the Bradley’s TOW anti-tank missiles, darn it.

If I am not mistaken, Perry had donned some type of military jacket, either a tanker’s jacket or flight jacket, I can’t remember which. That gave me an idea, of course, I kind of knew the answer I would get before I asked the question.

“Hey,” I told the governor’s PR Flak, “Why don’t you put a battle helmet on (Perry) and have his picture made inside a tank.”

That, of course, is the same pose which helped sealed the fate of failed Democratic presidential candidate Michael Dukakis.

“No,” the flak said quickly. “I think he’s caught on to that.”

Well, I tried, but not hard enough I think today, after Perry has now been the longest-serving governor in the Texas history. Now, he thinks he can be president. Who knows maybe he’ll do something really stupid such as slapping a wounded soldier like Patton did or some other way to shoot himself in the foot. If Perry continues to go jogging with a Ruger .380 pistol while jogging, like the one he supposedly used to shoot a coyote, he is liable to shoot himself in the foot for real.

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Have we ever seen a summer like this before?

The same hot day without rain over and over and over is beginning to get on my last nerve.

Some people get their emotions all out of whack when it is cloudy and cold and dark all the time. It’s called SAD, for Seasonal Affective Disorder. I may not be depressed from the temperature peaking near 100 degrees every day and “nary a clown in the sky” as someone used to say. One can be danged sure though that I am truly sick of, seemingly, the same high pressure center parking its hot rear end over my part of the world and seeing how long it can stay there.

I know folks around these parts who say they can’t remember a hot, dry spell like the one we have been having here in Southeast Texas. I can remember such spells but they were not exactly in this part of the state. Most recently I think of the Summer of 1998 while living in Waco. That summer was No. 4 on the all-time list of consecutive 100-degree days in that “Heart of Texas (HOT)” city with a total of 29 days in a row, according to the National Weather Service. This year is the new No. 1, with a string of 44 days when the temp was at least 100. That streak thankfully ended on Aug. 12.

Before that was the summer of 1980. I lived in Nacogdoches that year, about two hours to the north of where I now live. I worked then as a firefighter and was in between semesters in college. I remember it as plenty hot then as I lived in a little shotgun shack with an air conditioner that gave its all in a house surrounded by no trees. But we had nothing of a summer in comparison with Dallas and even Waco. That was the No. 2 Waco summer of consecutive 100-degree days with 42 in a row. Dallas had it much worse that 1980 summer as it was the all time number of consecutive and total days of 100-degree days. I remember a friend told me a story about being inside a Dallas bar at 10 p.m. during that summer and the deejay announced, to applause, that the temperature had fallen to 100 degrees.

But I don’t remember summers like that where I now live, which is basically within 60 miles of where I was raised.

And thus a little new history from this summer in nearby Houston:

…THE 100-DEGREE DAY RECORDS FOR SOUTHEAST TEXAS… …2011 NOW HAS MORE 100 DEGREE DAYS THAN ANY OTHER YEAR IN CITY OF HOUSTON WEATHER HISTORY… THE HIGH TEMPERATURE HAS ONCE AGAIN SOARED TO 101 DEGREES IN HOUSTON. THIS IS THE 22ND CONSECUTIVE DAY THAT THE MERCURY HAS CLIMBED TO THE CENTURY MARK. THIS IS ALSO THE 33RD TIME THIS YEAR THAT THE 100 DEGREE THRESHOLD HAS BEEN REACHED OR EXCEEDED. THIS BREAKS THE RECORD OF 32 ONE HUNDRED DEGREE DAYS ESTABLISHED IN 1980.

MOST CONSECUTIVE 100-DEGREE DAYS AT HOUSTON (DOWNTOWN/IAH): (RECORDS SINCE 1889)

1. 22 DAYS – ONGOING AS OF 8/22/2011

2. 14 DAYS – ENDING 7/19/1980

…

It is difficult to interpret all of our local weather records which come out of the National Weather Service office in Lake Charles, La., probably because they have a much smaller office there. However, the August maximum temperatures for Beaumont/Port Arthur show that, so far, no records seem to be broken as for temperature. I didn’t check the rainfall records because that would have really depressed me.

So yes, it is hotter than a million dollars worth of 2-dollar pistols here. Maybe we have never seen a summer like this one before although perhaps our ancestors did. When we start talking about possible culprits is where the real heat begins. I’m talking about the dreaded “GW” and no I’m not talking about Gee Dubya (W) Bush. I think even he expressed his belief in global warming, to which I refer.

It is getting impossible to have a civil discussion on global warming. The conservative propaganda machine, the best the world has known at least since that fun fellow Dr. Goebbels, has managed to make the GW into one of those controversies such as religion or abortion. If you are not on their side you are on the wrong side, no matter what.

After college is when I first began considering this global warming debate, some 25 years ago. I remember discussing the matter over several pitchers of beer one day with two friends, one with a Ph.D. in chemistry and another who now years later holds a doctorate in geology. I wasn’t really sold on global warming back then because of the obvious cyclical nature of weather. But today I do believe that, yes, we have global warming and that, yes, it is caused by humans. Despite the strides the neo-Goebbelist machine has made, most polls are reflective of this one conducted by Yale and George Mason universities which show a solid majority still believe global warming exists and is man made. A fact sheet from the National Geographic Society also is enlightening both on the subject itself and on the so-called “smoking gun” conservatives used to attempt discrediting major scientists who have researched extensively the topic.

That the right of the right-wing Republicans are so against what the majority of Americans see as a perfectly sensible scientific fact because primarily they have been led to do so in the name of big oil is particularly puzzling when you have big petrodollar people like GOP presidential candidate Jon Huntsman who acknowledge this “inconvenient truth.” Oh and by the way, the Huntsman Corp. bought Texaco’s chemical unit in Port Neches, in our county, for $850 million back in 1994. Did the Huntsmans contribute to global warming? Is Jon Huntsman Jr. running a Democratic Party campaign in the GOP as a way of saying “sorry” to places burning up by warming caused by his family’s business? I kind of doubt it.

Such a speculation is just that. But there is plenty of room for people to amicably argue about global warming without going nuts. Just make sure you have the air conditioner turned up to Warp Speed as well as your tower fan before doing so.

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The ‘Good Party Man’ and why he should beat Rick Perry

 

There is plenty yet to be written about Gov. Good Hair Perry but I will say little about him today because there certainly is no shortage of words being written about him. — HA! I ended up writing more than 1,300 words here, sucka! — I won’t bet, although I will say at this point in time which is way too early to be talking about this, that Rick Perry will win the nomination. Not for president he won’t. He might get on the ticket as Veep candidate.

Look at the history of the Republican Party and you will see evidence of it nominating the so-called “good party man.” This is someone who pays his dues for years, and “don’t rock the boat” a lot. You see, the Republican Party wrote that song “Rock the Boat,” but it actually goes “rock the boat, don’t rock the boat baby, rock the boat, don’t turn the boat over … ” You remember it from the disco years by a band called the Hues Corporation.

The GOP believes, at least in theory, in laissez-faire. That is a French word, which in translation means: “Eat more frog legs.”

No seriously, in the Republican sense it applies to economics. Wikipedia describes the LF-word as “an environment in which transactions between private parties are free from state intervention, including restrictive regulations, taxes, tariffs and enforced monopolies.”

And so forth. Hey Brother Vonnegut, here’s to you man, wherever you may be hiding.

That reluctance to intervene does pretty much define the Republican species in any matter except intruding on an individual’s personal civil liberties and starting wars and just about anything else just as long as no one rocks the boat that the monied class be ridin’ upon. Sheet man, ain’t nothin’ but a thing.

Look at past Republican presidential nominees in the past 50 years and ye shall surely see:

Richard Nixon — Took a lot a crap in his rising political career leading up to his ascendency as Ike’s VP.

Barry Goldwater — Bless his old cactus-laden heart, he atoned in his later years but up to the point when he ran against LBJ he was a reactionary’s reactionary, thus just what the Republicans wanted during that period.

Richard Nixon — Ta da!! Mr. GOP until that little matter came along known as “Watergate.”

Gerald Ford — Jerry Ford was a fine man whom I now believe was right in pardoning Nixon. I also believe Nixon was not the most evil person to occupy the White House (See George W. Bush). Ford had been around for a quarter century in the U.S. House. He served eight years as Republican Minority Leader. He was even part of the famed “Warren Commission.” You couldn’t get more Republican than that! Ford was the only man who served both as vice president and president without having been elected to office. I can’t happen to think of a better person for the time and I will always respect Jerry Ford even though I didn’t agree with everything he did. Oh and he was one of my three Commander-in-Chiefs during my four years of the Navy. Is that a record, or what?

Ronald Reagan — He wasn’t every Republicans’ favorite and ran a testy primary campaign with George H.W. Bush. But by the time he got to the nomination stage at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, he was “Good Party Man” Reagan.

George H.W. Bush — I have said it before, I will say it again. No man was ever better qualified, in theory, for president of the U.S. of A. Navy pilot shot down in the Pacific. Oilman. Member of the U.S. House. Ambassador to the U.N. Envoy to China. CIA director. Chairman of the Republican National Committee. Banker. Professor. Think tank director. Man, no one was probably better prepared since maybe Andrew Jackson (‘cepting of course, Old Hickory wasn’t a Republican.)

Bob Dole — Say it as he says it “Bobdole.” Another endearing Republican. Catch ’em while you can, they’re fading fast. Dole was badly wounded in the Apennine Mountains of Italy in WWII. He recovered although his right arm was paralyzed. He became a lawyer after the war. He ran for the Kansas House. Was a county attorney. He spent eight years in the U.S. House. He spent nearly 30 years in the Senate where he served both as Senate Majority Leader and Minority Leader. Oh, he also served as RNC chairman.

George W. Bush — George was anomaly of sorts. He was elected twice as Texas governor — see Texas governors — but did have his dad G.H.W. and granddad, Prescott Bush, a high-powered Connecticut Yankee banker, and later U.S. Senator. I suppose you could call “Gee Dubya”  a “legacy” good party man.

John McCain — McCain, a son of a son of a sailor (and a son of a sailor), well there is a debate as to whether Navy officers are “sailors.” Actually, McCain was a III. Junior and Senior were admirals. McCain was shot down and spent five years as a POW held by the North Vietnamese and retired as a Navy captain. He spent a little time in the U.S. House and was elected to the Senate in 1987, where he remains today. He might have been elected president had not he chosen one of the least qualified vice presidential candidates (and that’s saying a lot) in history, part-term Alaska Gov. Sarah “Caribou Barbie” Palin. Nonetheless, McCain remains someone I still like and respect although he can be nuts sometimes.

So there you have it. The history of the GOP good party man probably goes back even farther, in fact, it does although a few flies show up in the ointment sometimes (See George W. Bush and Gen. Dwight David Eisenhower.) So at this early stage, it seems like Mitt Romney is the Republican good party man. And once again, should he be chosen and should he accept (right) he too will be a partial product of a legacy. His father, George Romney, was a former president of General Motors and was governor of Michigan. Romney Sr., also a Mormon, ran for the Republican nomination for president in 1968 even though he was born in the state of Chihuahua, Mexico. Although the Constitution states the president has to be a natural born citizen, Romney seemed to have found a loophole, according to Wikipedia:

“While the Constitution does provide that a president must be a natural born citizen, the first Congress of the United States in 1790 passed legislation stating: “The children of citizens of the United States that may be born beyond the sea, or outside the limits of the United States, shall be considered as natural-born citizens of the United States.” Romney and his family fled Mexico in 1912 prior to the Mexican revolution. However, the Naturalization Act of 1795 repealed the Act of 1790 and removed the language explicitly stating that the children of US citizens are natural-born citizens. As such, it is inconclusive whether Romney was eligible for the office of President.”

Always, always remember it is Wikipedia you are reading my friends. It could be right, it could be wrong, it could be, well, it could be damn near anything. That’s what makes it Wikipedia!

McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone, as a military baby. President Obama was born in Hawaii, which was a state by the time he was born. Yet, only Obama was questioned as to his citizenship because his father was Kenyan and Babybama lived in Indonesia for awhile when he was a kid. Go figure.

Whew, that’s way more than I intended to go but by now you should get why I say Romney should get the nomination. That is, if the “good party man” theory which I learned from Dr. J. David Cox at Stephen F. Austin State University — a great Political Science professor in my mind — holds up these days.

In actuality, if this theory really held up, the GOP nomination would be U.S. Rep. Ron Paul. He’s been in politics since Cal Coolidge was a law clerk riding on the back of a jackass over the hills of Western Massachusetts looking for witnesses to depose. But no, Paul will actually end up becoming my congressman because of redistricting. Ain’t I the lucky one?